Showing posts with label Kage Allen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kage Allen. Show all posts

Friday, May 8, 2015

Butt Riders on the Range -- She Wrote What?

http://amzn.com/B00WYRP2P0
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Do you imagine blazing gun battles, bandits, and saloons with watered-down drinks when you think of cowboys and the West? We don’t. Our minds go right to horse shifters, bull shifters, were-leopards, urban wannabes, an interrupted journey along Route 66, a man of mystery named Dr. Feel-Good, and high noon at the edge of the galaxy! The fourth time’s the charm as the Butt-Thology authors saddle up, ride their men hard, and put ‘em away wet.

Butt Riders on the Range…the bulls aren’t the only ones being grabbed by the horns!

Welcome, JP Barnaby, one of our Riders!

Wait, so… Emotional terrorist, JP Barnaby, author of such ansty tales as Aaron, Little Boy Lost, and A Heart for Robbie has written, shifters?

Yes, it’s true, and I just have two words for the reasoning behind this latest Butt Anthology ditty—Kage Alan. See, Kage is one of my closest friends and he consistently encourages me (some would say in a relentless fashion) to write outside my comfort zone and stretch myself as an author. So, when it came time to craft a story for the Butt Riders anthology, I reached deep and thought about the one thing I never thought I’d write. Because I was a physics major, and deeply rooted in the science and mathematics side of life, I’ve always leaned toward the plausible and realistic in my work and shifters don’t really fall under that category.

The biggest challenge for me to get over with respect to shifting was not the animal/human DNA because biology and genetics were never my thing, it was the mass differential. According to Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity (the famous equation E=mc2), with the speed of light being a constant, there is a defined correlation between a change in mass and a change in energy. Because of the substantial nature of the speed of light, a small mass differential would cause a large requirement or release in energy (depending on the direction of the shift). For a human/horse shift, to take the example from the story, we’re talking about going from roughly an 1100 kg horse to a 100 kg human. There would be a profound release of energy, not to mention an extra 1000 kg of mass discharged in the process.


The energy and amount of discharge were minimized in the story to keep the story on a certain track. Had we used the actual theta-level radiation that would have been discharged, he’d have wiped out half the state. But the ideas of mass differential and energy were represented, which is what I wanted. They draw energy from the town in order to shift, and expel it in the form of a sonic boom when they shift back—more in line with Einstein than fantasy.

Do I believe there are such things as shifters? I don’t know. I do believe that we can’t possibly be the only sentient beings in the universe. I know that’s not the popular, arrogant American thing to say, but the universe is a vast place of wonder—we aren’t the only ones to notice. Whether those beings can shape-shift and what those physical manifestations may look like are pure speculation. And since I write fiction—it’s not really something I need to speculate on.

So, enjoy Riley’s story, and his interactions with John for what they are—fun and erotic horsing around. And to my fellow authors, I say—the next time someone challenges you to write outside your comfort zone, give it a shot. You might like what you find.

XOXO,
JP Barnaby

Get your copy of Butt Riders on the Range at Amazon! Enter  the contest for more Butt-iful fun.


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Contest Begins: April 29, 2015
Contest Ends: May 10, 2015

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Butt Ninjas From Hell -- Anthology

Title: Butt Ninjas From Hell
Author: Shae Connor , JP Barnaby, Kage Allen, Ally Blue, Eden Winters, Kiernan Kelly, Jevocas Green, TC Blue
Purchase at Wilde City Press
Purchase at All Romance eBooks
Cover Artist: unknown
Genre: depending on story: humor, fantasy, paranormal, contemporary
Length: 89K words
Formats: epub, mobi, pdf,

 Porn stars, holy emissaries, demons, and even just plain humans—ninjas come in all forms and from all kinds of Hell in this erotically charged comedic Wilde City anthology! Whether it’s the world of second-rate television, fluttering ninja stars, obsessions over a bronzy-olive toned soldier, or magic backsides, your authorial guides will take you where few readers have ever dared to go…without protection.

Kage Alan, JP Barnaby, Ally Blue, TC Blue, Shae Connor, Jevocas Green, Kiernan Kelly and Eden Winters bring you…Butt Ninjas from Hell.

You’ll Never Hear Them Coming!

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I love anthologies, I get to read new to me authors, and in this case, a couple of my favorites too. Everyone’s got a different take on what it means to be a ninja from hell, and from the coffee-snort title to the last line, this was fun. Apparently there’s a companion volume called Butt Pirates From Space. Excuse me while I clean my keyboard.


Cleanup on Aisle Me--Shae Connor has hell-beasties erupting into a costume store: her clerk Johnny doesn’t quite believe the ninja forces can battle them, but they’re very efficient at disposing of the pieces after. Do not hold liquid while reading, especially the ending.

Sheathing His Sword – JP Barnaby gives us ninja porn stars attempting a stealth shoot for reasons that make the producer look kind of pitiful. Cute, probably cuter if you like porn stars more than I do.

Twink Ninja Tiger, Flaxen Buns of Fury – Kage Allen plays with all the ninja tropes in every cheesy movie when he sets a twinky emissary with a serious case of “doesn’t get it” to the sacred ninja training post for inspection. Definitely do not be holding liquid. Warukatta. Or bless their hearts. Or both. Cause I’m still giggling.

Twerk It – Ally Blue gives a humorous nod to a series I think needs to be mocked more often, with her demon slaying ninja on the trail of the sex and mischief demon who’s creating issues for the purveyor of porn. I never knew there was a demon dedicated to making sure I’m dressed like an old laundry basket. :D


Hell is Where the Heart Is – Eden Winters has a demon with mommy problems- as in the Big Fucking Deal of Level 6 has Life Plans for him. Vik has to find his own solution to her demands. Which spawns other issues. HEHEHE.

Ninja Vanish – Kiernan Kelly’s second rate TV ninjas take on real ninja issues in a deal that looks like agents really are the spawn of Satan. I would like to see them dressed in their Hell Ninja suits. Loved the plotting in the end.

The Soldier and the Vagabond – Jevocas Green has a sort of yaoi story, where the POV character reads very, very young, as in too young to read this book, no relationship development, and a microscopic plot to go with the dub-con. Yes doesn’t happen until after asking is irrelevant. There is a Ninja, there is a mention of Hell, and other than that I don’t know why this story is in this book. Yes, it hit my dub-con hot button which not everyone has, but the other issues are problems.

A Ninja Walks Into a Bar – TC Blue has the longest story in the collection, running approximately 1/3 of the word count, and it’s worth every word. Dallas has been abducted to Hell by the demon Lord Nikita’s ninja, Akira, who falls for his prisoner. Dallas is darling, running at the mouth and not seeing why Hell shouldn’t conform to his wishes, which turns out to be a strength. Ki ends up rethinking everything. Nicely done.


As with all anthologies, quality will vary, but here, aside from one very questionable inclusion, it’s varying in a high, narrow range. Three of the stories are biter-bit, my favorite kind, though to tell you which three and how would be spoilery. Comedy is hard to sustain, but most of the authors managed it consistently, so applause for that too.  Much fun aside from the nasty jolt in the middle. 4.25 marbles