Happy New Year!

 

Thanks to all who have made my 2011 such an interesting year, and here's to a fabulous 2012 for all of us! (and where is this guy hiding? I want to grab!)

The Valley of the Shadow of Death by Julie Bozza

Title: The Valley of the Shadow of Death
Author: Julie Bozza
Cover Artist: Nelson Mejia
Publisher: Manifold Press
Genre: Contemporary
Length: 218 pages

Joshua Delaney and Carmine Angelo Trezini, cop and low-level mobster, should have absolutely nothing in common; yet, accidentally brought together, they rapidly became both lovers and allies against important crime figure Matthew Picano. Of course, taking down a man like that was never going to be easy – but Josh has no idea of the scale of the sacrifice he will eventually be called upon to make.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Give it to Cryssy: she'll read anything. This is another not-HEA story.

Chicago police officer Joshua Delaney is dangerously naïve, showing no awareness of his surroundings, having no eye for the cronky, for what doesn't fit and may be dangerous. Someone less suited for police work is hard to imagine, and the wonder is not that he survives two attempts on his life in the first forty pages, it's that some earlier, more casual attempt wasn't successful.


Delany considers that if the way things ought to be differ from the way they are, they must be brought into alignment by the most direct way. This comes across as a nearly religious certainty, and like other religious revelations, it is infectious. Otherwise sensible cops and district attorneys are converted, with one lone skeptic in the FBI agent. He converts high-level (yes, the blurb says low level, but he runs one of the boss's prize properties and is described as the smartest of the inner circle) mobster Angelo Trezini to the side of the angels with his uncomplicated suggestion of redemption, and is converted with one kiss to being gay.

I would like to say it was more complex than that, that Trezini reconsidered his life and that Delaney was bowled over by Trezini's strength of personality, with latent desires surging out to overwhelm and confuse him, but it really was nearly that simple. By page 44 and less than 24 hours acquaintance, Trezini has taken the 'always thought he was straight' Delaney home to mama, announced his love and intention to commit slow suicide by going against his mafia boss/childhood friend, and they adjourn upstairs for Delaney's first ever experience of sex with another man.

The first ninety pages are full of this sort of simplistic plotting. Delaney comes across as a holy fool: much like the monk who started the Crusades but left the actual details to the kings and knights, he has this fab idea about taking down the local mob kingpin with Trezini's cooperation but leaves it to others to accomplish it. His contribution is having sex with Trezini three times a week, and he doesn't take Trezini's prediction of a greatly shortened lifespan seriously. The realist of the pair, Trezini is quite aware of the consequences of turning on his boss, but is prepared to pay that price as the cost of achieving redemption.

The second half picks up considerably, with the first signs of deep thought about what they are attempting, and about the relationship they've embarked on. It doesn't help that the first half is all distant third person; we never get close enough to either man to really experience what he's thinking or feeling. The distance is so great that they are still using last names even in middle of sex, and while the POV gets close enough to see some depth to both of them in the second half, all the truly contemplative scenes belong to third parties.

The set up demands that certain questions be asked, about loyalty, friendship, redemption. What are they? What does one owe others? Achieving redemption is not as simple as attempting a do over of the initial wrong turn, as this book implies; the one time Trezini shows his understanding of this is when he kills a young man who trusts him. Then he leaves the body and the matter disappears, even though this young man is one of their own. The questions go mostly unasked, and mostly unanswered.

The relationship is pretty much in the background; while the men form a strong bond, it goes unexamined, and serves primarily to support Trezini in his suicide mission. There is one very interesting take on the sex. When they do arrive at the moment of attempting anal sex, Delaney isn't thrilled down to his socks and yearns for it to be over, but he wants Trezini to be happy. Not sexy, but unique, and one of the few moments we see the relationship growing.

The ending is as tragic as the title promises, the last line the most moving in the entire work. The entire story improves as it goes on; had I not been reading for review, I would have bailed before page 60 for insta-love and implausibility, and would have missed the best parts. But I'm not entirely convinced the end was worth the beginning. 3 marbles

End of the Year Stats

It's been an interesting half a year: I started reviewing for Dark Divas, and about three months later, Jessewave gave me a shot. The requirements are different for the reviews, which is why the styles jump around a bit here, and the books we are offered differ as well, certain publishers don't request review at Wave's who do at DD. Keeps the TBR pile balanced, I suppose.

I've also started crossposting at Amazon. They don't seem to be as accepting of terminology. :S

Here's how the last six months break out.

39 reviews at Dark Divas, they had a head start.
15 reviews at Wave's
-----
54 total      A few are written but are still to post, something I have more control over at Wave's. Apologies to all who have been waiting on reviews; the Dark Diva reviews have all been delayed by the big holiday extravaganza, but should be appearing presently.

I have a couple books out, best get reading! The stats here are going to be combined.

By publisher:

Amber Quill		4
Carina		1
Cheyenne		1
Dreamspinner		12
eXcessica		1
JMS Press		2
Loose Id		2
MLR		5
Nazca Plains		1
Pink Squirrel		1
Riptide		2
Samhain		1
Self		2
Silver		3
Storm Moon		2
Torquere		12
Total E-Bound		1
Untreed Reads		1

Guess it's reasonable that the bigger pubs are better represented; I do try to catch a variety. But never again on Nazca Plains: that book was scarring, and after reading the pub site, another equally bad experience seems far too likely.

About authors:  a couple of authors that I've read more than one from: I'm allowed to have favorites.  Eden Winters, Carole Cummings, JL Merrow, Mara Ismine, Val Kovalin, and Josephine Myles all turn up more than once. I do try to sample a lot of folks.

By Genre:

Anthology		3
Contemporary		18
Cowboy		2
Fantasy		7
Historical		7
Paranormal		10
Science Fiction		2
Spiritual		1
Steampunk		3
Bizarro		1

No BDSM. My choice, no apologies.

Ratings

1	1
1.5	1
2	1
2.5	3
2.75	1
3	10
3.25
3.5	7
3.75	1
4	13
4.25	2
4.5	4
4.75
5	9

My gradations have gotten a little smaller since coming to Jessewave's, where reviewers use quarter stars. I really don't want to cut it any finer. I average 3.73, which isn't too surprising; I don’t ever choose to read a book I expect not to like. Some trends: I'm giving out fewer 5's, partially, because I'm getting pickier, but mostly because I’m getting a real rash of just-okay books. I try to judge each story on what it's trying to accomplish and has it done that. If it's a humor piece, did I actually laugh? If it's science fiction, did I believe in the world? It's supposed to be m/m, did I get a CWD/m? I'm always a little perplexed by having to rate a short humor piece on the same scale with a thoughtful novel.

Some of the stories haven't had happy endings, and they've been rated very high, at 4.33 average, probably because it has to be a superior story to even see the light of day without an HEA or HFN.

It was an interesting year, and I'm looking forward to 2012!

Naughty: The Santa Problem

Title: The Santa Problem
Author: Tam Ames
Publisher: Torquere Press
Genre: contemporary, holiday
Length: 6800 words


Lane would do most anything to make his live-in love Gavin happy, but this is taking things too far. Just because Gavin can’t find someone to play Santa at his office building, doesn’t mean it’s Lane’s problem too. But Gavin can be very persuasive when he wants his way, and Lane may be taking on more than he can handle in order to keep his man content.


~~~~~~~~~~~

After the first coffee snort, I put down the cup, and my computer is grateful for it. First, Gavin has to wheedle Lane into agreeing to play Santa, and a less likely Saint Nick is hard to imagine. Young, buff, and regarding kids as some exotic species best kept on leashes, Lane takes a lot of convincing.


Gavin seems born to play a particularly naughty elf, all big eyes and tights-worthy legs. Any chance Lane had of evading the red velvet suit was lost about the time these two got together, some unknown time ago. They are a couple, but still feel like they are in the honeymoon phase. Lane is still inching his way out of the closet in some directions, and Gavin's letting him choose the ways to do it.

Of course Lane gets his ho-ho-ho on eventually, and don't plan on drinking anything while he does it; it will land on your reader. From the scared, to the wild, to the mercenary, every sort of child, not all of them housebroken, ends up on his lap. Boy, does Gavin owe him for this!

Reading between the lines on Lane's objections, there are clues that holiday and family aren't good memories for him, that this whole Christmas business is more painful than he'd like to let on. Did he not love Gavin so much, he'd be impossible to persuade, even with the winsome pleading and the *heh* bribery. And because Lane does allow himself to be persuaded, there's also a bit of healing for him; Christmas becomes better in the arms of his lover.

This isn't just a humorous romp, this story shows a relationship taking a step forward in a sweet way, and a different step in a naughty way. Two sex scenes in such a short piece are not excessive; they move both the story and the relationship along, and are just plain fun to read, too. Gavin and Lane learn something new about each other, and I'd like to peek on them again after they've had some time to explore their new information. Once again, Tam Ames has combined funny with hot, and shows growth for the couple. This author does great humor pieces (who else would give us were-hamsters?) but here the underlying serious theme gives dimension to what would otherwise be a just a lark. Fun, but with depth. 4.5 marbles

A Merry Christmas Drabble from Eden Winters

Prancing before a cardboard fireplace, Leo eyed the bulging stockings, hoping they held enough tips to warrant shaking his nearly naked ass when he could be home, wrapping presents. He glanced at his routine partner, Ben, reminded of why he'd volunteered to strip tonight. He'd been screwing up his courage and, after the show, he'd tell the man how he felt. At last the song ended and the curtain fell, and he danced over to the spot he'd marked earlier, stopping and looking up. "Mistletoe," he murmured hopefully.

Ben kissed him and replied, "And my Christmas wish just came true."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you, Eden! I knew someone would know what these two were up to!

Eden does some wonderful holiday based stories, good at any time of year. The latest, A Lie I Can Live with, is now out, and on top of my TBR pile.

With a few extra pounds and a geek reputation, Otis Tucker despairs of ever finding someone to share his life with. When the GLBT dating service GetaDate.com matches him with handsome hunk Garret, he thinks it's some kind of joke. But the more he learns of Garret, the more he realizes that even gorgeous people can be taken at face value and that Mr. Perfects come in many different sizes.

Find it here.

Nice: The Joy of Christmas Shopping by Mara Ismine

Title: Nice: The Joy of Christmas Shopping
Author: Mara Ismine
Publisher: Torquere Press
Genre: contemporary, holiday
Length: 5700 words

Is visiting a sex shop with your best friend a good antidote to Christmas shopping? Or is it a good way to move the relationship to something more than just best friends? Keith and David are about to find out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keith and David are both products of the foster care system; it's left its mark on both of them. Trust is precious and seldom bestowed, a friendship that lasts ten years is too valuable to risk screwing up with sex. Neither of them is entirely sure making the step from friends to lovers is possible, though both of them think it's desirable.

David is the more scarred of the two: whatever happened in his childhood to get him into the system isn't discussed in detail (thank you, author, that would have given the story a much darker feel) but is hinted at. The most obvious mark is that he's missing people skills; he knows he's missing people skills, and in his slightly robotic way, he's trying to make up the lack. Keith has been nudging him along in the right direction for nearly as long as they've known each other, but he has a way to go still. Without any real clue as to how to let Keith know he'd like more, he feels doomed to be forever the best buddy.

Keith, who is bi-sexual and a much freer spirit, doesn't have the slightest idea of the interest simmering under David's stoic and slightly menacing surface, and is quite frustrated about it. More confident in his interactions with people, he's stymied by David's apparent lack of interest in anyone, and draws a number of erroneous conclusions. Even so, he treasures David for much more than his ability to navigate crowds.

By the time we get through into what Keith and David are actually doing, we've got seven pages of exposition in two points of view, which gives the story a slightly wooden feel. This goes with David's closed-down demeanor, but probably could have been handled in a more interesting fashion.

Once we're into current events, the story comes into present tense, giving it a more immediate and lively feel than it's had before. Keith's frustration over David's apparent disinterest boils over, and the way to get some answers, Keith decides, is to check out a sex shop. One of the feelings David can express is competitiveness, even if it's over something as ridiculous as the coin-operated "stud-meters". And then, the cat is out of the bag—David's been so closed off that Keith is floored by the thought that David not only is gay, he's cool with being gay, and there's a better than good chance for them as a couple.

I like the idea of this story more than I liked the execution; the third of it that is exposition and back story doesn't showcase this author's talent for creating situations and resolving them that is more clear in the later two thirds of the text. That the two would cling to each other as life rafts in a harsh world makes perfect sense, and really so does David's apparent asexuality. He's fine with himself, he just hasn't the emotional skills to flirt or even express interest, but as with so many things, if Keith shows him the way, he can keep going. Their first kiss is sweet and really an "aw" moment. This is a couple I'd like to check back on, because they have this extra layer of difficulty to overcome.
3 marbles

Take Me Home by Sloan Parker

Title: Take Me Home
Author: Sloan Parker
Cover Artist: Marci Gass
Publisher: Loose Id
Genre: Contemporary
Length: 91K words


Aspiring television writer Evan Walker has been in love with his best friend since high school, but Kyle doesn’t do boyfriends. Never has. Never will. Evan knows it’s a bad idea to give in to desire when he wants more than a friend with benefits. He has a new dream job. Now all he needs is the dream partner.

Kyle Bennett is a mystery novelist with a severe case of writer’s block. He needs a change. He has three days on their cross-country train trip home for the holidays to figure out how to tell Evan he’s staying there for good. He also has to write the overdue pages for his editor. Only, he’s a little too distracted by the close quarters in their sleeper compartment—and Evan’s ass—to get much done.

The sparks that fly between them are hotter than ever. Good thing they have a real-life mystery to focus on: why people all around them, including Evan’s new boss, want to get their hands on a journal that once belonged to Kyle’s grandfather.

When a blizzard traps them in the mountains, Kyle and Evan steam up the train’s windows and must finally face their true desires.

*************
I’m not sure if this story qualifies as a big misunderstanding or not, because all the doubt and evasion is justified based on what Kyle and Evan knew of each other from their youth and the subsequent years. In this friends to lovers tale, every time they try to talk about the changes something interrupts them or they are otherwise derailed; they are talking, but damn, is it slow.


Kyle's always been the one who didn't want permanence, who went from man to man. Everyone in the story but he and Evan knows it's because Kyle really wants Evan. A youthful almost-relationship between them gets referred to often. Considering that Kyle had pushed Evan into situations he didn't want and that were extremely unsafe, abandoning the relationship early sounded like a really good idea to me, even if Kyle later took corrective action. That Evan would still be pining for Kyle even through a ten-year committed relationship with another man, enough to prompt certain actions from that man, seemed on the far edge of believable.

Kyle does some rethinking during the six months he has a post-breakup Evan in the guest room, but saves most of it for when we have to endure it. Listening to the endless dithering, which pervades the entire book, well past a place where it would be reasonable to have made a decision, gets rather old. Prolonged to the screaming point by the constant interruptions, it made me want to slap him and shake Evan, and tell them both to just get on with it already! Hours alone in a remote cabin should have given them the talk-time and moved the relationship farther forward. Why they were out at the cabin at all, and the visitor they had, also defied good sense.

The external plot, regarding Evan's screenwriting job and a journal left to Kyle, had both several unbelievable points to it and the most interesting part of the story. The journal, written by Kyle's grandfather, detailed an important year in his youth and the decisions he made, and I was left yearning to have read that story in full detail rather than the scattered journal entries. Another stretch—how everyone and their brother knew this journal just had to contain enough keys to the mystery to make a considerable amount of skullduggery from several parties worthwhile. A character Kyle refers to as 'Dickhead' had the most sensible reaction to the skullduggery's resolution, but Kyle and Evan went out to do something foolish instead.

So many plot points demanded more suspension of disbelief than I could muster that the style became a secondary issue. The voices of the two characters are very similar, and while I wasn't exactly seeing headhopping, it was sometimes hard to know who was POV. I found myself scrolling backwards to be sure I knew whose head we were in, because it felt like there was a change, although usually there wasn't. The read felt otherwise monotonous, probably due to the nearly unvarying sentence structure, and because certain plot elements repeated several times. And no, I do not want to know some stranger's gastro-intestinal problems with broccoli. This chunk is definitely part of the 15k bloat the book is carrying.

The ending, with all its frustrations, was satisfying; all the various subplots came together coherently. This is the strength of the book, even if it required contortions to get there. Kyle and Evan get their shot at an HEA, although I found myself not caring all that much, since I hadn't managed to like them all that much. My favorite characters were actually 'Dickhead,' for his willingness to act decisively if occasionally stupidly and his late interjections of good sense, and especially the deceased grandfather, who had romance and heartbreak in his journal snippets. I wanted to like this story, but mostly I was just glad it was over.
2.75 marbles

A Holiday Pic is Worth...

Thanks so much to Tam Ames and Chrissy Munder for their excerpt and drabble, each explaining why our young man was dressed only in his stocking cap! Go read, they are cute!

Now here, something is hung with care; who's going to explain it?  The usual applies, send me 100-1000 words (a drabble is an art form, folks) with covers, links, and blurbs, and I will post it with the pic here. It can be this pic or an older one, just tell me which, and a picture can have more than one story.

Happy Holidays from the Bookshelf to all who stop by, and Merry Reading!

Grown Men by Damon Suede

Title: Grown Men
Author: Damon Suede
Cover Artist: Roberto Quintero
Publisher: Riptide Publishing
Genre: Science Fiction
Length: 109 pages

Every future has dirty roots. 

Marooned in the galactic backwaters of the HardCell company, colonist Runt struggles to eke out an existence on a newly-terraformed tropical planetoid. Since his clone-wife died on entry, he’s been doing the work of two on his failing protein farm. Overworked and undersized, Runt’s dwindling hope of earning corporate citizenship has turned to fear of violent “retirement.”

When an overdue crate of provisions crashes on his beach, Runt searches frantically for a replacement wife among the tools and food. Instead he gets Ox, a mute hulk who seems more like a corporate assassin than a simple offworld farmer.

Shackwacky and near-starving, Runt has no choice but to work with his silent partner despite his mounting paranoia and the unsettling appeal of Ox’s genetically altered pheromones. Ox plays the part of the gentle giant well, but Runt’s still not convinced he hasn’t arrived with murder in mind.

Between brutal desire and the seeds of a relationship, Runt’s fears and Ox’s inhuman past collide on a fertile world where hope and love just might have room to grow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Woefully underskilled for the task he's taken on in terraforming, Runt is starving in the midst of plenty. Maybe he's streetsmart from his upbringing in spaceport alleys, but when he intercepts a big crab trying to carry off a mealpack, he eats the mealpack, not the crab. He's not TSTL, he just doesn't have the necessary skill set, and the clone wife who didn't survive the landing may or may not have been able to make up the deficiencies in wildlife recognition and machinery repair, but we'll never know. Equally mysterious is why he's out here at all, aside from the lure of riches once he's homesteaded his island. HardCell means business, we are told, but Runt isn't really a good prospect for a grubstake and doesn't have the necessary capital to buy in. If HardCell is so hardcore as to choose colonists only for their willingness to be dumped out in the back-ass of beyond, they don't need to kill off the underperformers; the world will take of that for them. Runt doesn't have the skills to teach the offspring he hopes to have to populate this new world.

Ox, the giant mute man who came with the supply drop, is equally a mystery, and while his backstory is explained elsewhere (a free short on the author's website), he at least comes with some skills that make all the difference between subsistence and prosperity. He also comes with some jacked-up pheromones, creating havoc with Runt's sex drive. Even as Runt and Ox have to come to a working arrangement as farmers, they have to come to some understanding about Runt's physical reactions. Runt's paranoia, fueled by a surprise in the supply shipment, is strictly his problem.

Ox doesn't come through very clearly on the page, with brief mentions of traits that don't get clearly shown. Something like this:

The giant wasn’t quick to adapt, but he had a knack for thoughtful strategy when he stayed calm.

shouldn't be a throwaway line: what happens when he doesn't stay calm? Rubbing calms him, humming or rumbling calms him, but he doesn't get agitated or anxious first. There's another throwaway remark about Ox liking to play practical jokes, but no illustration of a prank.

I enjoyed the evolving relationship between the men; they communicate pretty well despite Ox's muteness, resorting to writing only once in a while. When they take the final plunge into sex, it makes perfect sense. The underlying current of small equals weak, big equals strong, big equals more work than small can do was really aggravating early on, but as the men's teamwork evolves, this irritant resolves.

The worldbuilding, while laid out on the page, doesn't make so much sense. Two suns and three moons are going to create extreme weather and hellacious tides, (plus really screwy shadows) but HardCell has been able to engineer these things away. The tropical climate they have should lend itself to a mostly outdoor life with palapas or ramadas to keep off the sun, but Runt and Ox lead a mostly indoor existence when not actually farming. An evening under the stars is so rare as to merit an entire chapter.

The society building is stronger—HardCell has a prepackaged, predigested way of life to sell to the galaxy, which comes through very strongly. Runt retells an ancient Greek story to Ox, recast in the corporate mold, illustrating the technological grip. The story raises some horrifying questions. What are clone wives, why do they exist in this society and what is their place? Are they human or property? Intelligent? Is there a shortage of desperate, risk-taking women, or why else go for engineered colonists? Cloned men are common, genetic engineering for humans is so routine that Runt bemoans his parents' lack of foresight in the matter, but the clones don't seem to be considered entirely human.

The one big sex scene is definitely a step out of the ordinary, taking account of the differences in size between Runt and Ox, and of Ox's oversize equipment. (Forty centimeters is about sixteen inches, FYI, and eighteen cm around is roughly a medium-sized wrist.) It was different, and it was hot, even if I did have to figure out who was where and how at one point. It was also a technical problem, coming on the heels of a near-death experience for Ox.

The plot twines around in a full circle with a twist, very nice. The writing is smooth and evocative; Runt's voice is very distinctive, and this is almost enough to soothe me past the story problems. The incomplete characterization of Ox, the partially explained society, the partial worldbuilding, and some continuity errors (eg a cleaned floor that is suddenly bloody, then clean again) keep me from being entirely in love with this story. 3.75 marbles

A Thousand Word Thursday Drabble from Chrissy Munder

Smile for the Camera

“My mum’s not going to see this, is she?” Derek shifted against the red sheets; uneasy at way the cheap polyester clung to the damp patches on his back. Sure he was sweating, but who wouldn’t?


“Buddy, if your Mum is looking for calendars on our website you’ve got bigger things to worry about.” The balding photographer, lit cigarette tucked into the corner of his mouth, smirked as he fiddled with the camera.

Derek watched the rising cloud of smoke, flinching when the Santa cap dropped gleefully over his exposed dick.

“Now, just lean back and smile for the camera.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whee! Someone took me seriously that short rocks! Thanks to Chrissy for a holiday drabble, and check out her other holiday stories. (PS I just read Winter Warmers and enjoyed all the stories.)

~~~~~~~

Heat up the Holidays with stories from Chrissy Munder.



To learn more about Chrissy and her work, find, friend, or follow her on the web:

Website: http://www.chrissymunder.com
Blog: http://chrissymunder.livejournal.com/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/chrissymunder
Twitter: http://twitter.com/ChrissyMunder

Time Waits for No Man by Kiernan Kelly

Title: Time Waits for No Man
Author: Kiernan Kelly
Cover Artist: Deana C. Jamroz
Publisher: MRL Press
Length: 29 pages


When wishing for a way to save yourself from drowning under a deluge of personal disasters, remember that the old adage, "be careful what you wish for" applies doubly during the holidays. Robert Hanley finds this out the hard way when he books himself a time-traveling penny saver vacation that lands him knee deep in danger of losing not only his mind, but his heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Poor Robert Hanley, the word "nebbish" was made for him. If it can go wrong, it will go wrong, all over him. The holidays are anything but cheery for him; he's looking at the total collapse of his love life, his job, his living situation. You just know that there's a letter from the IRS waiting in this guy's mailbox, but he doesn't go home, he goes on this crazy cut-rate vacation instead.

And of course, since everything in this guy's life sucks moose balls, vacation doesn't go as he hopes, either. This is a total romp of a story, so getting whisked to ancient Babylon via some unexplained high-tech gadget makes perfect sense, and is probably more pleasant than the journey he expected. Except for the landing. :hysterics:

Being the only blue-eyed blonde for several thousand miles makes Robert a curiosity; being naked and broke makes him the property of the first person strong enough to claim him. And then the property of the first person wealthy enough to purchase him. But it's only for a week, and being the temporary sex slave of the king beats unlimited rot-gut rum on some crowded tropical beach.

This is sheer fantasy, so a little handwaving is enough to transport Robert back 2500 or so years, and a little more handwaving makes everyone understand one another. The language is light and bouncy, and so much fun that of course you want to buy into whatever ludicrous situation comes next. Time waits for no man, though, as Robert considers the end of his week:

The deadline for my departure was nearing, and I began to wonder why I was in such a hurry to leave Babylon. What was waiting for me back home? Yes, there was indoor plumbing, antibiotics and television; on the other hand, I had no job, no boyfriend, no money, and no prospects.

This is a much sweeter take on the master/slave theme than most, because Robert has the option of not playing with Marduk, but of course he does. That leads into a niggle – there's an element of the sex that doesn't ring true, but Robert's certainly happy with how things go.

The holiday connection is a little tenuous, which is okay; the story is so much silly fun we can ignore that awful Santa hat on the cover models. The resolution is sweet but not over the top, and is almost a little too somber for the tongue-in-cheek-ness of the rest of the story, but fitting. Time may wait for no man, but the time spent in this story was time well spent.  4 marbles

A Thousand Word Excerpt from Tam Ames

Hee, this one's on the naughty side! Tam sent us an excerpt of her new story, The Santa Problem.

****

The door opened and I glanced up to see one of the elderly security guards staring at us. I looked down and realized how it looked, me without pants and Gavin kneeling at my feet. Granted he was scrubbing my thigh down with soap but...

The guy stared for a moment, then quickly turned and practically ran out of the room as fast as his geriatric legs could carry him. I couldn't stop the laughter. Gavin looked up from his scrubbing. "What?"

"You didn't see him?"

"See who?"

"The old dude who thinks you were down there giving me a blow job."

He quickly stood up, grabbed me by the arm, and pulled me around the corner into an area with mirrors and a small chair. It was separated from the rest of the bathroom by a partial-wall. He shoved me back against the wall. You could only see us if you actually entered the area rather than turned right toward the cubicles.

"What the fuck, Gavin?" His grin was evil. "You're going to get in trouble. I can't afford to support us both if you get fired."

He just smiled wider and dropped to his knees again. He yanked down the front of my underwear. I wasn't hard, I was too shocked, but he leaned forward and took me in his mouth, and about two sucks later I was too big for him to take the whole thing. He glanced up and fluttered his eye lashes. "You want me to stop, Lane?" He licked my balls, knowing there was no way I'd ask him to stop.

I ripped that ridiculous elf hat off his head and grabbed his hair. I pulled his head back and gave him my I'm the boss look. "You have five minutes. It had better be good."

"Oh, baby, you know it'll be good." The smirk made me want to prove him wrong, but when I saw us reflected in the mirror, I remembered where we were. I didn't want to get him in trouble, so speed was probably for the best.

"Then hop to it, elf-boy." God. Maybe I was developing a Christmas fetish. I looked in the mirror again, me in the Santa jacket, him in the elf costume at my feet. Hot. Freaky weird, but hot.

"Oh, yes, Santa, whatever you say." He cooed. Okay, crossing over into too weird, but then his mouth was back on me, taking me as deep as he could, so I didn't care much. He began sucking with a vengeance, doing this little flippy thing with his tongue as he pulled up that made me crazy.

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If you want to find out whether they get caught or not, read the rest of Tam's Christmas short, The Santa Problem, published by Torquere. Gavin is a very naughty elf. 

Blurb:

Lane would do most anything to make his live-in love Gavin happy, but this is taking things too far. Just because Gavin can’t find someone to play Santa at his office building doesn’t mean it’s Lane’s problem, too. But Gavin can be very persuasive when he wants his way, and Lane may be taking on more than he can handle in order to keep his man content.

Buy here.