A Picture is Worth...

Flynn, Errol (The Sea Hawk)

Come on, someone, buckle his swash for us. 100-1000 words, directions here.

Immortal Symphony: Overture by SL Armstrong and K Piet

Title: Immortal Symphony: Season One: Overture
Authors: S.L. Armstrong and K. Piet
Cover Artist: Nathie Block
Publisher: Storm Moon Press
Genre: Paranormal, Serial
Length: 39 pages
Rating: 4 stars out of 5


You think you know the story of Dorian Gray, but you're wrong. The real story didn't end the way Oscar Wilde penned; in fact, it hasn't ended at all. The ageless beauty of Dorian Gray walks now in our world of cellphones and lattes and internet porn. His latest conquest is Gabriel Lawrence, a paranormal investigator with a secret or two of his own. But the trouble with a life as long as Dorian's is that the skeletons are threatening to overrun the closet... and not all of them want to stay dead.

Season 1: Overture introduces Gabriel to the truth of a world he had only suspected, where ghost hunting is the least of his worries. And at the heart of it all is the mysterious and fascinating Dorian Gray, as though he'd stepped out of the pages of the book bearing his name. But if he has, he hasn't come through alone. And this figure from a past Dorian had though long behind him bears a grudge nurtured for a hundred years and intends to tear down everything Dorian has built, a piece at a time.

Episode 1: A Meeting of Fate
Gabriel Lawrence, a paranormal investigator from America, finds himself in London chasing down a supposedly haunted artifact. While there, he meets a man who calls himself Dorian Gray, who may not match the description from that famous story, but certainly has the attitude. And the seduction. And because ghost hunting isn't exactly a lucrative venture, Dorian's invitation into his world of opulence, decadence, and wealth may just prove too tempting for Gabriel to resist!

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Serials are a sore point with me: they can be done right, or they can be done wrong. Generally the difference is presentation and disclosure. Storm Moon Press understands that, and they are labeling their new serials so that there is no question in anyone’s mind. Each installment can be purchased separately and clearly identified, or one can purchase the bundle and collect each section as it appears, plus additional materials that can’t be obtained any other way. They are up front about it, and for that I applaud them. It isn’t clear from the site how many sections to expect, but judging from this first, it would take at least 5 to make a novel length piece. Per private communication with the publisher, this one is the 'Radio Drama' format, where each episode (aka short story) must be read in sequence for the plot to make sense, and each episode ends on a little bit of a cliffhanger or substantial shift in the plot. They have other formats explained in that link.

And I’m fine with that. I’ve been warned, and I’ve also been given a nice hefty chunk of story, priced sensibly by the chunk. The bundle price suggests there are substantial goodies included. So bring it on!

For the no-lady-bits purists, back away now: we start out in a girl’s head, and she’s enjoying her debauching at the hands of Dorian Gray, he of classic, out of copyright memory. He’s still at his hedonism, and after close to a hundred years, he might be a bit jaded and having to reach for his pleasures. I don’t mind the use of such a character since the story he’s embroiled in is completely new and original, not another author’s text with sex shoehorned in. **applauds some more**

His opposing number, a young gay man with paranormal sensitivity and an unique relationship with his twin brother, is absolutely not living the high life—he takes menial jobs to feed himself in between his investigations. Dorian is a huge temptation physically and for comfort: who wouldn’t want a plush bed and lavish meals with a hot man for company, when the alternative is a hostel, a sandwich, and his right hand.

This first installment is more a set up, and as has been disclosed, ends on the brink of a major change. Gabe’s initial investigation may not be as complete as he’d like, and his twin doesn’t trust Dorian in the least. It’s going to make reviewing a real challenge for future segments, because not spoiling what comes before is going to be nearly impossible. However, I like the set up, I like the characters. Dorian is edgy and arrogant, Gabe is both cocky and ready for a bit of adventure, and there should be all sorts of sparks as they interact. This wasn’t a complete story arc, but I wasn’t expecting that, and I will be sniffing around for the next section. 4 marbles.

Dragon Touched by JB McDonald

Title: Dragon Touched
Author: JB McDonald
Cover Artist: BS Clay
Publisher: Torquere
Genre: fantasy
Length: 63 pages/17,500 words
Rating: 3 stars out of 5

Being called a demon and given suspicious looks has become old hat for Ashe, depressing as it is. But a mob attack leaves him shaken, aware of the danger he's in every time he walks out of the palace. With no purpose, no friends, and a culture that hates him, Ashe is barely putting one foot in front of the other. He wants to go home.

Katsu wants to go home, too, but first he has to fulfill his duties. The problem is that every time he finishes one thing, something else needs his attention. If Ashe will just be patient, Katsu will figure it out. But Ashe is running out of patience, and the boys are learning that sometimes, love isn't enough. Katsu knows the solution is there, if he can just find it... before everything falls apart.

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I’m invested enough in this undisclosed serial to keep reading, but that may not last. Again, we don’t have a complete plot arc—it feels like we left off at an inciting incident last time. (For a more complete discussion of three act structure, look here.) Here the stakes get higher, but resolution? What resolution?


The writing is smooth, and the characters vivid, particularly if one has been reading all sections as I have. Should you stumble on this one cold, it will be unsatisfying, because the dragon is an established fact, Ashe’s fish out of water state is clear but has no background, Katsu’s divided loyalties are clear and even have context for part but not all of it. The state of the relationship is seen only as “troubled,” with no build up, no resolution. You need at least 3 of the previous six installments to know, or care, about what is going on.

If you have that background, this is a wonderful section. If you don’t, quite a lot of this is pointless.
This would be much less of a problem if anyone was being upfront that this IS a serial. The author is coy about it, the publisher’s site says nothing about it, not even installment numbers, though you can find them at Goodreads. Supplied by readers. The lack of honesty, transparency, and continuity here bothers me greatly. The assumptions by author and publisher that we are patiently following along and not noticing how things are being strung out is apparent from the blurb, which doesn’t bother to state that Ashe is an elf and Katsu is a deposed prince amongst his human folk. Readers are assumed to know something as basic as species from having followed so far, and not need any explanations.

Katsu, who started off with grumpy as the new charming, here is only harried. If it’s for good reason, it’s still only a fragment of his former appeal. Again, without the background, the question is open as to why Ashe has stuck around this long, because the city is slowly killing him. Everyone, from Ashe, to Chieko, (Katsu’s beloved sister) to the queen (Katsu’s mother) to Daisuke (a figure from Katsu’s past and Ashe’s guide to local culture) is working at cross purposes, all pulling Katsu one way or another, and that part is beautifully portrayed. How this resolves is yet to be seen,  although the battle lines between factions are growing clear.

What I’d like to do is wait until the complete story arc is available to rate this. It would probably be a 4.5 to a 5. What I have to look at in this one file is approximately a third of a story arc, and that, no matter how well done, is incomplete and being sold without disclosure that it’s incomplete. So, JB McDonald and Torquere, get honest about what you’re offering and I’ll read the next part, otherwise, I’m done. 3 marbles
 

A picture is worth...

Poker face, hmmm. I think his mouth might just give him away. Have a story, 100 to 1000 words, for him, send it on. Directions here.

Guest Blogger Angela Benedetti on Serials

Please welcome Angela Benedetti, who has graciously allowed me to repost her well reasoned discussion of serial fiction, originally on her blog, Angie's Desk. This was timely for me because I have serial fiction in my review queue, some offered well, some offered poorly.

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Can we talk about serials for a minute?

I know serialization is supposed to be the hot new way of sucking extra money out of readers. (Oops, was I not supposed to say that out loud?) But you know, most readers can actually do the, like, second grade math required to figure out how much the whole story cost them. If your short novel is coming out in five two-dollar parts, or your normal sized novel is coming out in ten two-dollar parts, a lot of people are going to do the above-mentioned math and figure out that you're ripping them off. 'Cause seriously, ten bucks for a short novel in electronic form is ludicrous. So is twenty bucks for a regular sized e-novel. If this is how you price your "serial," then you (either the writer or the publisher, whoever came up with the scheme in any given case) has absolutely no moral ground to stand on when readers start complaining, in print, on their blogs or on Goodreads or wherever else. Because that? [points up] That's a major rip-off.


Better yet is when the writer/publisher/whoever fails to let readers know up front that a story is, indeed, a serial. When a reader has bought what they think is a short story or a novelette and is reading along only to find that the story cuts off abruptly at the end, leaving them hanging, needing to wait..wait...wait for the next installment, and fork over another chunk of cash to get it? Yeah, you're going to get complaints about that, too. And again, you'll have no grounds whatsoever to whine about those complaints, even when they're made publicly. The reader who posts to their blog or leaves a comment on a vendor site or a social reader's site to complain about your stealth-serial isn't being mean or sabotaging you or whatever. They're making a legitimate complaint about your lack of up-front disclosure that you were selling them a fraction of a story.

Let's look at an example. I don't usually call out specifics when I'm writing about a general trend, but this one's unfortunately perfect.

Monty Gets Arrested is up on Goodreads with four ratings and a 3.0 average. This isn't a lot of ratings, and the average might improve with time. But what's significant here are the comments. One commenter, who left a one-star rating, says, "It's not even half a story." Another, who left two stars, says, "Not bad, just .. way too short. More like a chapter than a book." A third said:

Ok I am not rating this right now cause I'm mad. I didn't realize that this was a short story to be continued.... And not continued soon, but a whole month away. I just read Anitra Lynn McLeod series Seven Brothers for McBride and I had to wait a whole 7 seven days for the next installment. And let me tell you that was a raging 7 days and each Saturday Anitra came through with the story. Now I have to wait a month for the next installment? This was ok but I don't know that I care enough to 'post-it note myself' 30 days out.


Wow, great marketing strategy this turned out to be.

Someone came along and commented to one of the reviews, explaining that Monty is a five-part  series, with parts to be released once a month. I'm assuming this person knows the writer, or works for the publisher, or whatever. Okay, that's good information to have. Why didn't the publisher give it to us? Because this good information should've been given to the readers before they spent their money.

Monty's page on ARe (a popular e-book vendor site specializing in romance) says nothing at all about the book being the first part of a serial. The full title is Monty Gets Arrested (Marshall's Park #1), but that's also how series books are often titled; it looks to a savvy reader like there are going to be more books about Marshall's Park. Which is fine; if you like Monty, you'll probably be interested in  reading more books set in the same place, by the same writer. But nowhere on this page does it say "Serial," or "Story to be continued," or anything similar. The reader (potential customer at this point) is given no hint that they're not buying a complete product, or that they'll have to pay more money to get the rest of the story.

Obligatory statement that I'm not writing this to rag on the author. I have three of her books on my to-buy shelf on Goodreads, which means at the very least she can write good summary blurbs. Her total average rating on Goodreads is 3.82, which is very good; she can clearly write stories that readers enjoy, and I expect to enjoy a few of them when I get around to it. For that matter, the summary blurb on Monty makes it sound like a fun story. I'm betting the problem here is with a publisher who thought they could make an eventual $9.95 for a 57K word novel (assuming all five parts cost the same and are about the same length) instead of the more usual $4-5.99 a novel that length would bring in if sold as one book, and who apparently hoped no one would notice or complain about their shenanigans.

I'm not going to say that serialization is a bad concept entirely. Rather, I'll say I've never seen it implemented well, in e-book form. Serialization goes back to the days when newsstands were full of magazines carrying fiction (heck, it goes back to the days when there were newsstands) and many of those magazines serialized novels a chapter at a time, or a chunk of chapters at a time. Purchasing the magazine got you a lot more than that issue's serial, though. Even if the serial was the major selling point of the magazine (as magazines with Dickens's work often were, as I understand) the fact is that there was still more to read once you were done with the serial installment. Even if the only effect was psychological, it's the psychological effect of realizing that you just paid money for a fifth or a tenth or a fifteenth of a story that I'm talking about here. A reader who'll pay $2.99 for a 12K-word novelette -- a complete story -- might well balk at paying $2.99 for a 12K-word chunk of a longer novel, when they realize that the whole novel is going to cost them $15, and that they're used to paying $5.99 at most for a single (complete story) e-book of that length. The psychological effect is exactly the problem, and saying it shouldn't be that way doesn't make it vanish.

What it comes down to is that serializing a longer work and selling the parts individually is a sales and marketing strategy. The publisher is trying to make more money selling the parts separately than they'd make selling the work as a whole. Wanting to make money isn't a problem -- everyone who doesn't consider this a hobby wants to make money. The problem is when you're doing it so blatantly that your customer can't help noticing your hand rooting around in their pocket.

Some readers like serials, and are maybe even willing to pay more to get each chunk of story as soon as possible. Okay, that's great; selling serials to people who like them is a good idea. If you're targetting readers who like serials, then let the readers know up front that you're publishing a serial. There's no excuse for letting someone buy what they think is a complete short story or novelette, only to spring the surprise on them at the end that the story is incomplete. Announce in the marketing material -- within the summary blurb would be a good place -- that this is part of a serial, with more parts to come (and previous parts if it's not the first). Give the readers the information they need to make a valid decision whether to hand you money for your product. Some people will decide not to buy, yes. But the alternative is to deal in bad faith, and have people complaining about you in public afterwards. This kind of behavior might make you a few more dollars now, but it'll lose you customers in the long run.

If you're going to sell a serial, act in good faith. Let people know what they're buying before they give you money, and then see how many do. However much money you make when everyone knows what they're buying? That's the measure of whether serials are successful.

Cover Up by K.C. Burn

Title: Cover Up
Author: K.C. Burn
Cover Artist: L.C. Chase
Publisher: Dreamspinner
Genre: contemporary, police
Length: 236 pages


Detective Ivan Bekker has hit rock bottom. Not only is he recovering from a bad breakup with a cheating boyfriend, he’s also involved in a drug bust gone bad. Ivan had to kill a man, and his friend was shot and is now fighting for his life. Though Ivan is under investigation for his part in the shooting, his boss sends him on an off-the-books undercover operation to close the case. The timing is critical—this could be their chance to plug a leak in the department.

Off-balance and without backup, Ivan finds himself playing a recent divorcé and becoming Parker Wakefield’s roommate. He finds it hard to believe that sweet Parker could possibly be a criminal, much less have ties to a Russian mafia drug-trafficking operation, and Ivan lets down his guard. His affection is unprofessional, but Parker is irresistible.

When Ivan comes across clear evidence of Parker’s criminal involvement, he has to choose: protect their relationship, regardless of the consequences, or save his career and arrest the man he loves.
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I turfed this book at the 15% mark, and wasn’t planning to come back to it. Objecting to the absolute lunacy of the setup on Ivan’s behalf, I didn’t think I could bring myself to read an entire novel that worked with that sort of logic. Curiosity got the better of me, and I’m not sure that’s a good thing.


Starting from an incident towards the end of Cop Out, a book where Ivan was a minor character, we get to follow him into an undercover operation that makes no sense whatsoever. His superior doesn’t even let him clean another man’s blood from his face before sending him into a totally inappropriate operation, using the sort of rationale that barely makes sense even to a traumatized officer. At this point I was snarling and muttering about “Where’s Internal Affairs when you need them?”

So, when Ivan goes to be Parker’s roommate without so much as an interview because someone else picked him for the housemate, it was more eye-rolly—the question of why a budding Mafia man needs a roommate does occur to Ivan, but why anyone bright enough to pound sand wouldn’t even meet first before inviting a stranger into his home does not. Then, their first interaction has Ivan treating Parker like a child, and that’s where I put the book down.

I found Parker to be an infuriating character, partly because he does act so childlike that it was squicky that Ivan, or anyone, be thinking of him sexually. Much was made of the May/December issue by other characters, mostly by trying to insult Ivan for his extreme age of thirty four, but since Parker was only intermittently coming across as twenty two instead of thirteen, it was not Ivan who was the problem.

This was made even more infuriating because Parker was portrayed as sheltered, socially awkward, and frankly clueless because he’d been a caretaker for his dying mother and her financial affairs. That’s a scenario that grows you up fast, IMHO, but not here. His pudgy adolescent phase was used to justify his social backwardness even more, and as excuses for why he put up with the odious Neil, his alleged best friend. Parker meekly puts up with any shit Neil hands out, which only encourages him to take further advantage.

The few instances where Parker shows any strength of character seem peripheral to the story—while it’s admirable that he volunteers in a trauma center, it’s also irrelevant except to allow him a flash of insight later, which frankly wasn’t a great leap. Otherwise he’s either letting people push him around, beating himself up for perceived flaws, or mooning over Ivan, who blows hot and cold as he alternately remembers and forgets that involvement with a suspect is a bad idea. Aside from Parker’s extreme good looks, which he is entirely unaware of, (really, I can’t make this stuff up) there isn’t much besides being a warm body to explain Ivan’s attraction to him. His big moment of maturity comes late and doesn’t last:

...but it might explain why Ivan was so laid back. Unless, of course, that hadn’t been real either. He hated, absolutely hated, not knowing which bits of Ivan were the truth, or if any of them were.

He flings this insight to the wind to make the HEA work.

Since Ivan is doing something he knows to be bad police work, he gets to angst too. Having an instance of his angst-driven bad behavior be pivotal to solving the crime was a nice touch.

Between the irritations from an immature character, a poorly designed mission, shoddy investigation, and an unmysterious mystery, the first two thirds of the story were an exercise in frustration. That last third had some really good moments, and seeing Kurt and Davy from Cop Out was nice—Kurt at least was still capable of functioning as a cop. Watching Ivan unravel during this section was one of the better sequences. The ending scene had some LOL lines in addition to Parker again demonstrating that he hasn't thought things through.

The resolution to the investigation made partial sense of the beginning, but had I not returned to the story after swearing off, I would never have known that. And given what else lurked in there, I’m not happier for the knowing. 2.5 marbles

A picture is worth...

Happy Valentine's Day to all, and may everyone be able to rejoice in their love.

Anyone with a story of 100-1000 words (Honest, I like drabbles!) send it on. Directions here.

Sharing Tomorrow by Michael Barnette

Title: Sharing Tomorrow
Author: Michael Barnette
Cover Artist: n/a
Publisher: Torquere

Genre: paranormal
Length: 17 pages

Fae-born Kyle has been alone for decades; everyone he once knew is gone. The need to be around others, even humans, has grown so great he can no longer remain alone. Then he enters a bar and he someone who seems to know what he is, a man named Anluan.

But Anluan is more than a man and on the cusp of New Year's they discover they don't have to be alone anymore as the magic of faerie weaves a spell around them to bring them a very Happy New Year indeed.

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This is a sweet little short, only 17 pages, but it was a pleasant read. Kyle, whose fae-name can only be said by others of his kind, is driven by loneliness to enter a pub. He has magic enough to disguise himself from the humans who don’t believe in him any more, but not quite enough familiarity with the human world to keep the bartender, Anluan, from being able to pick him out as non-human. Can’t really blame him when the last time he came ashore to mingle was back when gaslights were common.


Anluan’s muttered advice on blending in becomes an invitation to go home and speak more openly, and the two are definitely attracted to one another. This did result in springing a “fated mates” style bonding, which I thought wasn’t needed—their interest in each other and the loneliness of being the last was enough without that.

There were some charming moments, like trying to pay for a beer with a silver treasure coin from the sea, and arguing over who was going to do what to whom, which made me smile 3.5 marbles

It can be right and still be oh so wrong

I have a spelling checker.
It came with my pea sea.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye kin knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished inn it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.

*********

I'm getting a little tired of crap proofreading, to the point where it may take me a while to read things from certain publishers again.

Tumbling Blindly by Sue Brown

Title: Tumbling Blindly
Author: Sue Brown
Cover Artist: Posh Gosh
Publisher: Total E-Bound

Genre: Contemporary
Length: 63 pages

Book one in The Arches Series

Dumped by his partner, Matt isn’t looking for love. Once he meets Gabe at the gym, he finds a friend as well as a lover.

After he is dumped by Milo, his long-term partner, Matt retreats to his bed, only to be scared out of his wits by two policemen breaking into his house, checking to see if he is still alive after being alerted by a nosy neighbour.

The last thing he expects is to meet one of the policemen a few months later at his local gym. Gabe makes it obvious that he is attracted to Matt, but Matt is still getting over his break-up. To his surprise, Gabe isn’t deterred by Matt’s reluctance, and promises to be friends until Matt is ready for more.

Then Matt’s world is turned upside down by Milo’s return, begging a bed for one night. One night turns into a week and Milo doesn’t move off the sofa. Although Matt still has feelings for Milo, he realises he also has feelings for Gabe, who is more than a friend, and waits patiently to be a lover.

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There’s not much to spoil after that blurb, so I guess I can speak freely. The story turned out to be more fun than I feared after a slightly off-putting beginning.


Finding your MC huddled in bed, sniveling for days on end over a breakup isn’t a really auspicious beginning, and I wanted to kick Matt a good one. Hurt, yeah, but this was flat out self indulgent. Seriously, he was holed up in there long enough to prompt a worried (Matt spells it “nosy”) neighbor to call the police. Which might be the biggest favor anyone ever did him, aside from scummy Milo walking out on him.

Matt took the breakup hard, even though there’s very little to show that Milo was ever a kind or loving partner, and even two months later, he’s barely willing to entertain the idea of Gabe being interested in him. Of course, when your first meeting is “cop finding not-dead body holed up in rancid bedroom,” there’s still that first impression thing to get over.

Matt “wanted to prove to Gabe that there were times when he didn’t smell like the arse end of a donkey” when they first meet at the Arches, a gay gym that looks like the planned backdrop for a series of stories. Odor keeps cropping up, some mentions work better than others.

Gabe’s willing to go for friendship—he’s really a too good to be true sort of guy, aside from a tendency to go toppy without provocation or invitation, which Matt does learn to utilize as he gradually comes out of his funk. He’s also the resident kicker of asses, figuratively speaking, which Matt needs in large doses after Milo starts weaseling his way back into Matt’s life. Gabe’s more alive on the page than Matt is, and it’s a little bit of a mystery what he sees in Matt that draws him so strongly.

Milo thinks Matt’s a decent meal ticket though, and like the camel under sticking his nose under the tent wall, starts oozing his way back into Matt’s life. Since Matt’s backbone is a good grade of cooked spaghetti, he might just manage it.

The story is well enough written and the character growth is strong enough that I was willing to read through to find out how this resolves, because the initial impression of Matt as a sad sack wasn’t particularly enjoyable. If Gabe hadn’t kicked his butt into a better approximation of a human with a spine, I wouldn’t have found much to like about him, but as it was, I could believe in Matt getting his act together and the two of them as partners with some sort of equality.

Luka, the gym owner, is an interesting secondary character with a lot of potential conflict, and I like the notion of the gym as a nexus of stories. I’m certainly willing to read the next one.

It’s embarrassing to admit that my opinion may be colored by this being my third book in a row where a POV character can be mistaken for a particularly helpless damsel in distress, and that I might have felt differently had I come upon this one cold. My rating is half a star higher than my first inclination, to try to compensate for this bias. 3.25 marbles

A Thousand Word Sequel by Eden Winters

There he was again! Dirk’s heart skipped a beat. In this light, at a certain angle, the man sitting by the window looked just like… Nah, it couldn’t be. Dirk had seen the telegram with his own eyes, “Lost, presumed dead.” None of the “presumed dead” ever came home. Ever. He lowered his gaze to his drink, watching light play over the amber liquid. For years now he’d come here, simply to visit old memories—with all his former mates long gone. What a pathetic thing he’d become after the war.

Still, eying the stranger was like a visit from an old friend. He raised his glass in silent toast to the man gazing out at the darkened street. Ten years, it’d been. Ten long, lonely years. From time to time Dirk found a willing bedmate to spend the night, a week, a month, and, in one case, two years. They always left again. And Dirk always found it hard to care. His heart had died long ago, with a fighter pilot over war-torn London.


“Care for another?” the bartender asked.

Dirk recalled the former owner and his wife, who’d run the place as a café, how they’d nearly adopted him and Walter. They’d died too, shortly after the last dance Dirk and Walter shared, right here in this very building. It had been one of the few places they could safely be seen as a couple. Only now, there was no need for blackouts, or air raid sirens, and he’d happily give up all earthly possessions just to be with his lover one more time.

The building’s windows were no longer boarded, but Dirk didn’t need light, and he didn’t need to see the other patrons. None interested him, save for the stranger by the window. “No, thanks,” he answered, the barman’s inquiry. “I should be getting home.” He downed his whisky, reveling in the burn down his throat. Then he patted his tiny bit of paunch—a paunch that hadn’t been there ten years ago. Walter, maybe it’s best you’re gone and didn’t have to watch me drink my life away. Of course, had Walter been there, Dirk would have found better things to do.

He turned and ran headlong into a solid mass. “Ooof!” the stranger said, clasping Dirk’s shoulders to keep from falling.

“So sorry,” Dirk rushed to say. Then he raised his eyes to a waxy mess of scars, and all words fled.

The stranger backed away. Raising a hand to cover his cheek. “I’m sorry. I forget people’s reactions to these. You see, I’ve only been in the city for a few weeks.”

Something about those long, slender fingers… Dirk hitched a breath. “What is your name?” he ventured.

“Walter,” the man replied. “Walter Reynolds. Or so I’m told.”

“What do you mean?” A cruel joke. That’s what this had to be—a cruel joke.

The man shrugged. “I was badly injured and spent months in a hospital. Though they put me back together physically as best they could,” he waved a hand to indicate his scars, “I can’t recall very much before my…accident.”

Dirk eyed the man critically. He appeared the right height, with a touch of the residual lankiness of youth. Dirk tried to imagine the body beneath the man’s casual clothes. Would he find a familiar landscape? Or foreign territory? Walter Reynolds was hardly an exclusive name. And soldiers were mistaken for others all the time.

A pair of brown eyes regarded Dirk with interest. “Do I know you?”

The hair was longer, growing sparsely over scarred flesh, and gone was the lopsided smile. The voice was husky, but given the man’s injuries…

“Say, ‘I promise,’” Dirk said.

“What? Why?”

“Please, just say, ‘I promise.’”

“I promise,” the man said. His face went blank, his eyes widened. “With every ounce of my being, I promise!” He stared at Dirk. “What did I promise?”

“To come back. Why did you come here tonight?” Dirk asked. No, it can’t be, it can’t be. But inside, his heart tried to fling itself through his ribs.

“I’m told I lived in London before the war. I had hoped in coming here I might remember something. Then I found this place, and it felt so… so welcoming somehow.”

Don’t my boys look dashing tonight? Dirk heard the late owner’s wife say, after giving this man a peck on the cheek, and doing the same to Dirk. He scarcely dared to breathe, or to blink, afraid he’d suddenly wake up and find this all a dream.

“Wait right here,” Dirk said, before dashing across the room to slam every bit of his money down on the piano, never taking his eyes off the man named Walter. The piano player gave a startled squeak, but nodded at Dirk’s hurried instructions.

Walter remained in place, but his gaze swiveled from one side of the room to the next, as though only just realizing where he was.

The music started and Dirk swept the man into his arms. Ten years ago he’d cried on a soldier’s uniform, tonight he shed tears on a button-down work shirt. The stranger swayed stiffly for a moment, then exclaimed, “I know this song! This was… this was…” He locked eyes with Dirk, mouth opening and closing a few times, but nothing emerged. They spun around in time with the piano’s tinkling, and man turned his head, showing the unscarred side of his face.

“Our song,” Dirk replied, smiling through his tears. “Welcome home, Walter.”

*********************************************************************

Now I'm all sniffly! Thank you Eden/  The first section of this story was also a Thousand Word Thursday story for a prompt pic, and you can find it here--this one stands alone but you'll want to see where Dirk and Walter started. 

Eden Winters is one of my favorite authors, and she has not one but two releases coming soon. Duet is now available for preorder at Dreamspinner, and Collusion, the sequel to Diversion (5 marbles, review here) is coming Feb 24, but we don't have cover art yet. Soon, though, soon.

 A conqueror’s decree can’t separate Aillil Callaghan from his Scottish heritage. He wears his clan’s forbidden plaid with pride, awaiting the day he becomes Laird, restores his family’s name, and fights to free Scotland from English tyranny. An Englishman in his home? Abomination! Yet the tutor his father engaged for Aillil’s younger brothers may have something to teach the Callaghan heir as well.

Violinist and scholar Malcolm Byerly fled Kent in fear, seeking nothing more than a quiet post, eager minds to teach, and for no one to learn his secrets. He didn’t count on his charges’ English-hating barbarian of an older brother, or on red-and-green tartan concealing a kindred soul. A shared love of music breaks down the barriers between two worlds.

Aillil’s father threatens their love, but a far more dangerous enemy tears them apart. They vanish into legend.

Two centuries later, concert violinist Billy Byerly arrives at Castle Callaghan—and feels strangely at home. Legends speak of a Lost Laird who haunts the fortress in wait of his lover’s return. Billy doesn’t believe in legends, ghosts, or love that outlasts life.

But the Lost Laird knows his own.

After the BBQ by Matthew Lang

Title: After the BBQ
Author: Matthew Lang
Cover Artist: Deanna Jamroz
Publisher: MLR Press
Genre: Contemporary
Length: 9000 words



Trent Gaudeen was going to spend Australia Day alone--on principle, of course. When an invitation comes out of the blue to attend his ex's holiday barbeque, he goes along despite himself. Will he open a can of worms or find the perfect match to his American pumpkin pie?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I like stories with a beginning, a middle, and an end. Here the beginning starts out with the promise of paranormal that doesn’t mesh up with the contemporary middle, which in turn doesn’t support the happy ever after ending. This could have made a lot more sense.


After getting the story, reading it, and wondering what the heck I just read, I discovered that this is part of a series, but even so, this degree of ?? wasn’t necessary. Merely starting the story a few pages later would have removed the paranormal element that went nowhere and let this story stand properly on its own. Just because the paranormal element was front and center in other books with other MCs doesn’t mean it has to appear here.

Once past the red herring, American in Australia Trent meets up with Vijay, a New Zealander of mixed Greek and Indian heritage, at Jake’s Australia Day barbecue. He’s intriguing and sexy, and Trent wants to be all over him. A walk home with adventures later, they’re home, getting in each other’s britches, and all is copacetic.

The HEA happens about 12 hours later. Um, whut? The middle doesn’t support this—it comes out of the blue. The story feels like a slice of life, kind of fun, but not utilizing the “two outsiders celebrating someone else’s holiday” set up and doing nothing at all with the paranormal elements. If you’re a fan of the other Talmor Manor stories, you might follow along better and enjoy this more. It’s pretty choppy, even for those who know the setup. 2 marbles

Football and 1000 words

This is the first time I've ever chosen my Superbowl team based on human rights, but Brendon Ayanbadejo is my favorite football player ever now (sorry, John Elway, but not very, even you haven't done anything quite this awesome). The 49ers' recent hoof in mouth incidents would make me root for anyone else playing against them, but I will yell extra hard for the Ravens.

Go Ravens! Go Ravens! Go Ravens!

The Cost of Secrets by Cassandra Gold

Title: The Cost of Secrets

Author: Cassandra Gold

Cover Artist: Kalen O’Donnell

Publisher: Loose Id

Genre: Contemporary

Length: 121 pages (PDF)/Word count: 35,457

Police officer Dan Fallon knows the streets, but he's a rookie at romance, and still very much in the closet. He thinks sexy fitness instructor Isaac is way out of his league, until a dangerous situation breaks the ice between them.

Isaac Weiss has spent years trying to get his life back together after a series of terrible mistakes. The last thing he should be doing is trying to have a relationship with a cop, especially with his past. Too bad he's unable to resist sweet, shy Dan.

It's not long though, before the secrets both men are keeping rise to the surface and threaten to destroy the fragile connection they've forged with one another. Can Dan and Isaac find acceptance or will the cost of secrets be too high?

Review

The blurb sure looked good. Given that the stated theme is secrets, one expects that total honesty will be hard to achieve, but the problems in this story go far beyond difficulties in communication. Between the treatment of some serious life issues and stylistic clunkers, I would have DNF’d this story at the 20% mark had I not been reading for review. 

I was very disappointed, because the major issues in each character’s life would make establishing a healthy relationship challenging, and they deserve thoughtful treatment. Here, unfortunately, they are used only as defenses against communication, and growth in overcoming them isn’t really happening. Body image is an important topic, as is unwilling participation in exploitive situations and drug addiction, but they deserve better handling than they received here.

Officer Dan Fallon is the confident, adept policeman, but Dan the man carries around the memories of a difficult adolescence as a 450 pound band geek, and takes off his social skills with his uniform. Personal trainer, kick-boxing instructor, nursing student Isaac is the sexy twink who’s making his life into something better. At twenty three, he’s still trying to recover from the horrors he went through as a teenager, and what he went through would definitely leave marks. He’s determined to keep everything about his past to himself, believing he’s too sullied for a wonderful guy like Dan, who of course hasn’t a clue about his appeal. 

All of this could be worked up into a touching and healing story, but that’s not what we have here. Various plot points occurring in the present day are either handled clumsily or ignored, and the past traumas come to light as bricks of prose thrown at the plot whenever handy. This cheapens very real problems of sexual abuse and exploitation, drug abuse, morbid obesity, and suicide, and does a disservice to those who have suffered. There isn’t a lot of thoughtful examination or of character growth and change, more melodrama than drama. 

Dan comes across as having personality transplants every few pages. It’s disconcerting, unpleasant, and overdone, and when his off-duty persona bleeds into his professional life toward the end, it’s consistent but irritating. He’s shed 240 lbs and still finds himself too soft in the middle for his own liking, but feeds on chocolate milk and sticky rolls even in situations where it’s not clearly for comfort. His unwillingness to be seen naked at least rings true, and renders it somewhat likely that he’s twenty eight and never been kissed. He’s certainly sweet, a word that appears 17 times and yes I counted, but he’s not very interesting. That’s sad, because he could be.

Isaac has had way too much sex and no love, and can’t believe he’s more than a sex object. He spends much of the story either melting, angsting, or weeping, and at no time is it clear how he obtained the skills he makes his living with. One would expect a certain amount of street smarts from Isaac, given his history, but he stops to worry about Dan’s bloody nose before they’ve completely subdued the armed robber. Once the robber is carted off to the station, the incident is never mentioned again—it’s only a device to get the men alone together.

Again, the point of the book is secrets vs communication, but this devolves into one Big Misunderstanding after another, which is not improved by style. Walls of exposition go on for pages, telling us what the characters are doing and thinking, but not illustrating it with an incident or even breaking it up with dialog. The POV is very shallow and distant, not really allowing the readers to feel along with the MCs and exacerbating the feeling of glib treatment of the major traumas. Between the adverbs, the feelings named outright rather than being illustrated, and caroming from cliché to cliché, the story offers no stylistic balm to make up for the characterizations and clunky plot. 

I would like to say that the sex was completely hot, but alas, that consolation is not there either. We are in Isaac’s POV when they first have sex and this event is more a cause for terror for Isaac than a source of joy—he’s the bottom without discussion, apparently because he’s built more slightly and/or has his horrid exploitive past. He doesn’t even stop to savor the orgasm before he’s running away from the big handsome cop he doesn’t deserve. Of course he has no idea of the significance of the event for Dan, just one more thing they don’t discuss. The fallacy of only anal sex is real sex is alive here, and lube is optional. The final sex scene where they are saying some really cheesy things together, and aware of the cheesiness and able to laugh about it, is the warmest moment of the story.

The premise, two damaged men healing from their pasts and learning to find their own worth and accept love, is ambitious but poorly executed, and I cannot recommend this book. 1 marble