A picture is worth...

Mmmm, hot bods in lycra moving fast. What's not to like? And if you have 100 to 1000 words of ficlet or excerpt to go with the pic, send it along to post here. The rest of us will lick them as they go by. (Directions here.)

The Party Boy's Guide to Dating a Geek by Piper Vaughn and Xara X. Xanakas

Title: The Party Boy’s Guide to Dating a Geek

Author: Piper Vaughn and Xara X. Xanakas

Cover Artist: Aisha Akeju

Publisher: Less Than Three Press

Genre: Contemporary

Length: 270 pages

Ashley Byrne only wants one thing in life: to finish his tattoo apprenticeship and fulfill his dream of owning his own shop. In the meantime, he spends his nights partying, flirting, and having sex. After all, what else is there for him to worry about? Aside from his hair and his clothes, not much. He’s hot, and rest assured no one knows it better than him. He’s also used to getting what he wants—until he meets Felipe Navarro.

Fee Navarro has everything he needs: a great IT job, a nice apartment, and all the high-tech toys his geeky heart could ever want. He doesn’t do casual, and he knows guys like Ash are nothing but. Ash may burn hot for Fee, but Fee isn’t willing to take a chance on a vain, little party boy with too many tats and an oversized ego. He wants someone to share his life with, and he won’t settle for anything less. Too bad Ash has never been the type to give up easily. He has a plan, and he’s not stopping until he proves he’s more than just a pretty face—he’s someone worthy of winning Fee’s heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Party Boy’s Guide is a charming story of opposites attracting, and more to the point, of one of the opposites understanding what’s attractive about the other and why the attraction is worth working for.

Ash and Fee come together while helping Ash’s brother and his girlfriend move in together, and things do not start well. If Ash isn’t putting his foot in his mouth or doing something careless that causes an injury, he’s coming across as flighty, only interested in a good time. Being seen like that stings, even if it’s true—Ash isn’t used to an attractive man not responding to him, and it makes him work triply hard to get Fee’s attention. Used to entertaining himself with any willing comer in the clubs leaves him unprepared to deal with someone more serious.

The gimmick of having a bit of dating manual heading the chapters is funny, but definitely sound as if the advice was ripped from the pages of Cosmopolitan, with some florid “geek references.” It’s cute but the tone really made me wonder about the intended target audience, even if the advice is good and pertinent to the contents of the chapter. The geek references persist in the software manual style table of contents and chapter headings. The joke sustains fairly well. The "cool guy" wandering into geek territory and coming off as the inept one was a comic, if slightly painful, turnaround of the more usual cool/not cool situations. That first book club meeting, oh ow!

Ash remains the POV character through the entire novel, which is unusual in something of this length, and it’s he who is changed most. Not because Fee is trying to change him, but because he recognizes the worth of Fee’s methods, including the go-slow-don’t-rush-into-sex-or-anything else important way Fee allows himself to engage with Ash. Any pushing from Ash makes Fee withdraw, but he will come closer if allowed to choose his pace.

As an apprentice tattoo artist, Ash has some vague plans for the future, but he’s drifting along, saying he wants something but not really working at it. It isn’t until Fee demonstrates what his own efforts have brought him and gets involved in small ways with Ash’s dreams, such as by configuring a computer for him, that Ash stops dreaming and starts making progress toward his goal.

In some ways I liked the leisurely approach the two men take, because Ash has the chance to rediscover that sex can be more important than the random assisted orgasm, but there were a few places I wanted to tap my toe and suggest they move a little faster. Now and then the slow unrolling was a little too slow. At least one side plot concerning Ty, Ash’s prospective tattoo parlor partner, seemed to wander off into nothingness after eating enough page time to seem important.

The story is as much about Ash’s maturing as it is about the relationship, and if he didn’t grow up, he would not have become a worthy partner for a man who actually has his act together aside from a bit of social ineptitude. Fee isn’t that big a geek—imagine him on The Big Bang Theory for one scene to see exactly how much being computer savvy isn’t geekhood personified. But he is the polar opposite of a frivolous party boy, and eventually, so is Ash.

We don’t see Fee’s POV in this story and he’s not terribly communicative, so Ash is left to flounder sometimes and Fee comes off as a little cold. Fee is Hispanic, but his ethnicity is an under-under-under current aside from some delectable food, and may show most strongly in a scene that is not actually on page. His level of “doesn’t get it” on relationships exceeds the believable in one or two places, but it’s very clear that he’s a worthwhile person to be involved with.

The writing is smooth and contains some excellent lines and observations on the human condition, although Ash utters them thinking of the smaller canvas of his life. It’s in keeping with the mostly light tone of the book. I enjoyed the story, even if I wished for a faster pace now and again.

4.25 marbles

Bone: Slip of the Tongue by ID Locke

Title: Bone: Slip of the Tongue
Author: ID Locke
Cover Artist: BS Clay
Publisher: Torquere Press
Genre: fantasy
Length: 23k words, 74 pages

Ivriah is a Battle Mage specializing in summoning demons to fight for his country, Islafar. He also uses his summoning skills to call male demons to see to his baser needs as same-sex relationships are illegal and ruthlessly punished in Islafar. Incorrect wording in a summons leads to him calling for the Bone Demon, Orajin, instead of the demon intended. While Ivriah finds Orajin very attractive, the fighting demon is far too cheeky for Ivriah’s bedroom tastes.

Orajin is thrilled to finally be called to Ivriah’s bed as he’s been secretly in love with the mage for years. Orajin does his best to show Ivriah that they are very compatible in bed and sets out to prove to the mage that they are perfect for each other. In a sneaky move, Orajin gives Ivriah a bone spur as a “token of affection” that is actually a symbol of engagement among Orajin’s people.

Their developing relationship and Ivriah’s safety and life are threatened when the authorities are alerted to it. Orajin swoops in to the rescue and offers Ivriah a chance to have his heart’s desire if he’s brave enough to take it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This story commences after a battle. Ivriah the mage is horny enough after battle to summon a demon for some sex, but tired enough to muddle his spell and then be flummoxed by the demon when he finally appears. The banter is funny and a little appalling—Ivriah could have summoned something far less well-disposed towards him, and he loses the battle of wits on every turn. It’s a loss he ends up not minding much.

This is definitely the high point of the story, because the war is told in infodumps and exists mostly as background. Who is fighting and why is irrelevant. How and why Ivriah gets emotionally attached to the demon is offscreen, somewhere in the nine months that gets mentioned as the duration of the war and their sexual relationship. Orajin’s fondness for the mage was a done deal before he was ever summoned. The relationship is basically a given, and the first half of the book is their first sexual encounter. Witty in spots, and somewhat driving the plot, but not substituting for plot.

Once we skip ahead nine months and almost all of the relationship development, we get a bit of plot. Ivriah’s country is extremely homophobic and now he’s in trouble for his proclivities. Under questioning by the authorities, Ivriah considers his prospective lifespan to be very short. Summoning the battle demon who’s deeply in love with him doesn’t seem to be a viable option for anything other than sentiment.

Moment of thought here. Battle. Demon.

There are some nice touches here, like a peek into the true meaning of “demon” and what are his home life and his most private thoughts, which are both tender and sometimes amusing. There are also some very heavy handed treatments. This story contains a lot of repetition, as if readers won’t recall a bone demon is bone colored, or that demon blood is purple as Ivriah’s hair were we not reminded periodically. Ivriah is occasionally reduced to thinking of himself in the third person, which becomes yet another instance of infodumping. Orajin, were he not a battle demon, would make a good pop psychologist: he worries about inflated egos and repressed trauma.

Ivriah certainly has on screen trauma; his inquisition by the authorities is sexually sadistic and qualifies as a rape. The scene is likely to be triggery for some readers. The aftermath invokes the trope I found distasteful: while at first the story seemed sensitive to a victim not feeling entirely sexual, it whisked past that quickly. There was a plot reason for doing so, but the execution did not maintain the sensitivity, and it became “sex heals rape.” The best that can be said here is that while anal sex is mentioned and negotiated about, it doesn’t occur.

While the story certainly had witty moments, they are overwhelmed by the infodumps and strange tone, veering from Freudian to skater punk in the same character’s voice. In moments that require action, the characters stop for long stilted speeches. The external plot presents mostly as sexual torture or extraneous issues, and the relationship development shows only the moment of mutual attraction and the explosion into HEA. There are very few plot points not mentioned in the blurb, and I was left feeling like I’d read half a story. 2.25 marbles

A Thousand Word Thursday Story from Amelia Gormley

Lessons

It began with Gavin showing off. A sweltering afternoon in the park walking Chelsea had resulted in a chance encounter with an ice cream cart. Derrick had got his usual cone, but Gavin had opted for a popsicle.

Cherry, he said with a sly smile. In honor of Derrick’s blush.

He’d done things with that popsicle. Suggestive things. Obscene things. Things that really shouldn’t have been anatomically possible. Derrick hadn’t quite believed what he was seeing until Gavin got him back to the house and onto the bed, at which point he’d wrapped his red-stained mouth around Derrick and proven that yes, he really could do that.


So now Derrick sat in his kitchen with an orange popsicle trying to figure it out. Chelsea sat on the floor, watching him with her head cocked curiously to the side, trying to understand why Derrick kept teasing her with the popsicle and not sharing, even though he clearly wasn’t eating it.

Instead, he was trying to make himself sick with it. It melted on his tongue, tangy and sweet, as he slid it toward the back of his throat. Immediately his throat closed and he began to gag.

How the hell had Gavin managed it?

He discarded the melting popsicle and consulted the internet.

Clench the thumb of your left hand in your fist and squeeze tightly, one article advised. Derrick wasn’t sure what his thumb had to do with his gag reflex, but he fetched a new popsicle from the box in the freezer and tried again. The cold, molded juice went into his throat without making him gag the first time, but when he tried to repeat the motion, it didn’t work.

Just relax. Don’t think about doing it, the anticipation will make you tense. Just do it.

Well, that was spectacularly unhelpful. Derrick turned off the computer with disgust. How the hell was he supposed to do it if he didn’t think about doing it?

More than ever, his twenties seemed like a total waste. Why the hell couldn’t he have picked someone up from time to time who would have shown him these things?

Well, the thumb trick should be good for at least one pass.

That night in bed, he came close to humiliating himself all over Gavin’s junk. He lay with his head on Gavin’s thigh, swallowing back the urge to choke and laughing helplessly at himself.

“I cannot figure this out,” he confessed, shaking his head wryly.

“You don’t need to impress me,” Gavin said, stroking his hair with a tender smile. “I like what you do just fine.”

And maybe Gavin did, but that didn’t mean Derrick intended to stop trying. It might take weeks or months, but he’d get it down. He’d learn. He wanted to learn it all.

He didn’t know how to explain to Gavin that his efforts hadn’t been so much about impressing Gavin as they’d been an attempt to take it all in, to experience everything he’d denied himself for so long. Like a starving man at a feast, he wanted to glut himself on pleasure.

Intent on that goal, he crawled up over Gavin’s recumbent body and moved on to other things.

He’d get back to that particular lesson later.
*************************************
Ooh! Thank you, Amelia!

Gavin and Derrick are from the Impulse series, and Book 2: Acceleration, will be out at the end of the month. Inertia was good (there's a review right here) so Acceleration is going on the TBR pile ASAP. And nobody lick the art!

Acceleration on GoodReads

Gaining Momentum

Gavin Hayes is everything Derrick could ask for in a lover. Gorgeous. Passionate. Great in bed. Derrick finds it very easy to just let himself go, to let Gavin guide him and teach him all the things he missed during a decade of celibacy. In the course of a single weekend, Derrick’s routine is transformed, his mornings and evenings filled with sex. Sweet, seductive, wild, or raunchy, Gavin offers Derrick all the pleasure he’s denied himself for so long.

But learning how to be a lover in bed is one thing. Learning to be one out of bed is another. For Derrick, being alone has become habit. Sharing his confidences doesn’t come nearly as readily as sharing his bed. And after so many losses, the last thing Derrick wants is to become dependent upon another person who might not always be there.

And Gavin always being there is far from certain. With an ex-lover lurking in the background, and the question of Gavin’s future health still outstanding, neither Gavin nor Derrick feel capable of asking for anything more than right now. But Gavin won’t be kept on the fringes of Derrick’s life. Can Derrick let someone in before the opportunity passes him by?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amelia C. Gormley may seem like anyone else. But the truth is she sings in the shower, dances doing laundry, and writes blisteringly hot m/m erotic romance while her five year old is napping. When she’s not writing, Amelia single-handedly juggles her husband, her son, their home, and the obstacles of life by turning into a everyday superhero. And that, she supposes, is just like anyone else. Her first novella from the Impulse Trilogy is available through Amazon, Smashwords and other retailers.

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Diesel 

 

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Devil's Night Anthology

Title: Devil’s Night
Author: S.L. Armstrong, K. Piet, Alina Ray, Azalea Moone, Tali Spencer
Cover Artist: Dare Empire
Publisher: Storm Moon Press
Genre: paranormal
Length: 42,500 words

The infernal host is on the prowl. They want your soul, and they're not afraid to bargain for it. They'll promise you everything you could ever desire, but the price tag may be steeper than you can handle. Whether tempting and seducing mortals, defiling angels, or reveling among themselves, the fiendish creatures in these four haunting tales know that while good is okay, evil is just more fun.

Thaddeus sold his soul to save his family long ago, but the deal he struck with the demon Belial has him spending eternity managing Le Carnaval du Diable, filled to the brim with others damned into servitude. Belial wants more than Thaddeus' soul, though, and his constant advances only add to Thaddeus' stress as he faces a threat to The Devil's Midway.

Craig Peters finds himself Hell Bound and destined for an eternity of torture at the hands of the demon Karawan, despite having no memory of the sin that condemned him to this existence. Over time, though, those memories return, along with an unnatural attraction to Karawan, which leads them both down a path neither of them could have possibly imagined.

When the Hounds Come Out to Play, Ryu and Keir are released from their chains to hunt the wayward damned and drag them down to Hell. A breath of freedom is an opportunity for fun, however, and Ryu isn't about to waste it, even if it means getting caught in a case of mistaken identity with a handsome stranger.

Finally, Beltran is a man of heritage and honor, and when his cousin is brutalized, he has few qualms about consulting a local Inca shaman on her behalf. Little does he know the price of the charm he seeks will make him The Seventh Sacrifice in the amaru demon Kitara's ancient quest for revenge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another anthology with some favorite authors and new to me names, and a fine diabolical streak running through the stories. Sexual tension, in gobs. Danger and threats, lots and lots. Hellishly charming beings, definitely. Hot sex, oh yeah. But if you read expecting romance, you aren’t going to be happy.

I’ve been reading S.L. Armstrong and K. Piet for a while now, and have enjoyed their growth as a team. The Devil’s Midway is their strongest I’ve read yet. Thaddeus, the POV character, is a genuinely good man who sold his soul for the best of reasons. He’s the only one who can stand up to Belial, though it’s growing more and more difficult to turn down what the demon offers. Thaddeus’ struggle is with himself; the story is extremely tense, and manages to be both sexy and frightening at the same time.

Alina Ray’s Hell Bound was impossible for me to get involved with, since one of the characters was discovering his kink a little late. Rookie demon Karawan doesn’t know what to make of Craig’s reactions to his torture, and I was having some real issues with the torture being entwined with everything else. Pain play sends me running. YMMV.

When the Hounds Come Out to Play from Azalea Moone had an interesting twist, since one of the characters was a shape-shifting, candy-stealing hellhound. Being a bit unclear on some human conventions, Ryu’s Halloween night becomes extra interesting when he spends quite a lot of it with a human male. The dog-out-of-collar moments provided flashes of humor to leaven the anthology and were cute, with an edge. Grant was a hard character to get into, being inconsistent and with some knowledge that gave the entire encounter an air of WTF in retrospect.

The Seventh Sacrifice is the first of Tali Spencer’s works I’ve read, but it won’t be the last. This was a beautifully crafted story, combining the exotic atmosphere of La Paz, the native lore of Bolivia, and characters that are both in opposition and aligned in some ways. That the author entwines their stories and lives to bring them into something unexpected, and definitely not entirely consensual but still satisfying is a testament to skill and vision. While certainly not a standard romance, there is underlying respect between Beltran and Kitara, and a definite sense that what is necessary will become something treasured.

As with any anthology, the stories will vary, but here they are varying within a high and narrow range. Even allowing for personal squick on one story, I’m still quite pleased with the overall effect of this collection. Because of bias my rating doesn’t include Hell Bound¸ since I honestly can’t differentiate between what’s done well or not in a sub-genre that makes my skin crawl.

With the reservation of the pain play story, Devil’s Night is recommended for the reader who doesn’t require a consistently happy ending but does want tension and heat. 4.5 stars

Ranty McRanterson wants the middle

Lately I’ve been reading more stories than I’d like where a huge chunk of development isn’t there. What the author has included is lovely and draws me in, and then WHAMMO! We’re at the end. Wait a minute! Where did the middle go?

If there’s a great set up and engaging characters, of course I’m going to be interested in what their troubles are, which usually comes up in the beginning of a novel. And since I’m generally reading romance, the ending needs to have the men together, whether it’s for a week or a month or a lifetime. But if the journey from set up to ending is truncated into a few paragraphs, or worse, completely missing, I’m going to notice that out loud, and you can bet I will count off for it.


Because if I’m promised a story and I get half a story, plus or minus a bunch of sex, I will be annoyed. If I wanted nothing but sex, I’d read porn. If I wanted an excuse for a story plus a bunch of sex, I’d read erotica. If you offer me romance, the story better be in there.

Scriptwriters go off the three act structure, and it’s basic framework . We’ve all seen hundreds of shows and movies using it. We’ve read hundreds of books that have it, and we’ve read others that do not. It’s not the only way to tell a story, but it has the basic elements of beginning, middle, and end. We’ve come to expect that in good storytelling.

Here’s what screenwriters use for three act structure:

It’s not an accident that Act Two is twice as long as the beginning and the end—that’s where all the interesting floundering around happens. What they have marked as plot points one and two are where reversals happen—something that keeps the characters from getting what they want. For the complete discussion, look here.

Another way to look at storytelling is A) that which creates a problem and B) that which solves it. Then you can have a bit at the end where everyone’s happy and we all go AW!

A lot of writers mistake that happy chunk at the end for the solution to the problem. No, it’s not. It’s sweet, and probably lots more fun to write than all that troublesome stuff in the middle about how they got to the happy part. And it’s probably a lot easier to skip over that troublesome development stuff or smoosh it into a tiny space. But that’s where the story is.

That could bring us back to the three act structure, labeled differently.

So all that Aw! stuff is the tail of the falling action. And it all has a lot more meaning if there’s been some sort of connection from the introduction. Otherwise there’s a great big gap from where it started. And if we don’t know what’s in that gap, what matters at the end besides some sexytimes? And that’s really just parts rubbing together unless we’ve had a chance to really get to know the characters and see what they’re up against and how they solve it.

The parts of a story that make us gasp and bleed with the characters lie between the introduction and the falling action. If there’s a “black moment” when everything seems stacked against our guys, we care that they turn it around. If we hear about it later, or never hear about it at all, then why do we care? Why should we care?

Because then it’s just a couple of possibly interesting characters having sex or sweet kisses/fade to black. And that may be okay for erotica, but it’s not okay for romance.

I think that the Aw! section of the ending has the emotional height right about at the C or the T in “falling action” in the above graph. So if the story never takes us to the heights, we don’t come plummeting downward from the momentum of the rest of the story. We get only so high, not much past the first red dot, and then sort of slide down the rest of the way. The same Aw! ending would have much more oomph for being propelled by the rest of the story.

Some writers let the story take them where it will and impose some sort of order on it after they see what they’ve got. This works fine for someone who’s internalized the need for the complications and the crisis, and not so well for the writers who’d like to skip over that messy junk. The messy junk is where the story lies.

And if that part isn’t there, it’s a story that has this kind of flaw:

Moving in Fits and Starts

Sorry to all the regulars who've been coming by expecting some new content. Because of my ties with Jessewave, her posting issues are also my posting issues. The good news is Wave's site is now transferred to a new host, all is working well, and things should be back to normal. My next Wave review, unless I get really busy (don't count on it, there are 50 billion leaves in my back yard) will be Saturday.

Dark Divas and I have parted ways.

I have some opinion pieces  that may be ready to unleash soon. I'm seeing things that beg for comments.

Also, I am coming up on the 400th post since I switched the focus of this blog to m/m and reviewing. That ought to be good for something special, shouldn't it?

A picture is worth...

So maybe it's not warm where you are, but this pic just heated things up. Any thoughts? (100 to 1000 words, directions here.)

We All Scream by Elias True

Title: We All Scream
Author: Elias True
Publisher: Self
Cover: Robin Ludwig Design
Genre: Erotica
Length: 22 pages

A massive storm is brewing and Seth is ready to head back home. But when he sees an unrequited crush from high school driving an ice cream truck, he must pursue. When they meet, Seth flirts and finally gets what he craved from Aaron all those years ago – and much more – in the back of the truck as they wait out the storm of the century.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We All Scream by Elias True is trying to straddle that line between erotica and romance. Seth is pondering a newly acknowledged attraction to men, something that simmered in his past but never quite surfaced except in small encounters of the quick look and glance away type with a school friend. Maybe he was kidding himself about girls all along, he thinks.


A chance meeting with Aaron, now grown and driving an ice cream truck lets Seth admit his feelings to himself and to Aaron as they drive around in the ice cream truck during a bad storm. The storm and their own desires bring them to a halt, where they make the most of the scant room in the freezer compartment, and confess a few things about the past.

The sex scenes are fine, and the setting is certainly novel. Where it becomes muddled is that while the guys could certainly have sex now that they’ve met again as adults, there isn’t nearly enough development to have them declaring love now. Love isn't evident, it feels thrown in just to be able to call this a romance. The plot, what there is of it in the current day, is the sketchy sort suitable to erotica. The author handles Seth’s character development and his introspection about himself and the past with enough skill that the near absence of relationship development is either an oversight or a guy thing. “Meet you for the next storm” would be a lot more believable than “I love you.”

The ending is HFN but without any real emotional satisfaction when a declaration of love is met with less joy than a round of golf would get. Considering the devastation of the storm and the novelty of their emotions, the ending has very little punch, and it's all provided by the idea in the last line. We All Scream probably works better as erotica; Elias True shows lot of writing skill in search of its genre. 3 marbles

Don't Try This At Home (Anthology)

Title: Don’t Try This At Home

Author: Anthology, several

Cover Artist: Paul Richmond

Publisher: Dreamspinner  

Genre: anthology

Length: 290 pages

Bonked heads. Rough carpet. Burned dinner. Awkward silence. Bitten lips. Startling length. Spilled wax. Pinched fingers. Shattered wineglass. Closet quickie. Flat souffle. Broken bedframe. Shower sex. Overzealous spanking. Embarrassing ex. Lost wallet. Terrible taste. Sore shoulders. Noxious odor. Absent date. Unbelievable girth. Kitchen canoodling. New toy. Stained sheets. Backward compliment. Stifling pillow. Locked handcuffs. Aching ass. Missing keys. Torn seams. Wrenched back. Angry cat. Overeager pass. Uncooperative zipper.

 Something always goes wrong in real life. Fortunately, in these stories love blunts the edges so that romance always triumphs over adversity.
 Stories included are:

 Midnight Caller by Anna Birmingham

Snapshots by Rena Butler

Basil's Luck by Henrietta Clarke

Boys, Toys, and Carpet Fitters by Taylin Clavelli

Outbursts by Bell Ellis

Tyler Wang Has a Ball by Kim Fielding

Boy Next Door by Ellee Hill

Gremlins in the Works by Kiernan Kelly

Good Food Gone Bad by Venona Keyes

Attack of the Hedgehogs by Kate Pavelle

It's Not What You Think by Teegan Loy

Slippery When Wet by K. Lynn

Desperate Measures by E.T. Malinowski

Gordon's Cat by Aundrea Singer

Photo Finish by AC Valentine

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh boy. I love anthologies, because I encounter new-to-me authors and a wide variety of voices. And it usually works better than this. This is a huge collection, and unfortunately, only about half the stories work well. Most of them are plagued with excessive amounts of that which the anthology calls for. It isn’t enough to have one embarrassing issue or inciting problem: most of the MCs endure issue after issue after embarrassing and/or dangerous issue, to the point of making me wonder how on earth they survived to adulthood. The stories that have a single problem point work much better, unless the reader has a taste for slapstick. I never found the Three Stooges all that funny or sexy, and unfortunately several of these stories are operating on the same principle.

(Note to readers ER=emergency room/trauma department)

 Midnight Caller by Anna Birmingham Aaron is plagued with a noisy neighbor, and they work at cross purposes regarding the noise until they come together to make some racket of their own. This one went three disasters past my amusement point but got a smile at the end. 3

Snapshots by Rena Butler Starting with one character passed out on a bathroom floor is pretty inauspicious, and it takes quite a lot of convincing to get Alex into bed with Bryce. With disaster after disaster, culminating in words that should never have been uttered, the overwhelming number of disasters actually had a point here. 3.5

Basil's Luck by Henrietta Clarke – Basil, the POV character, is constantly attacked by inanimate objects and is one of the “how did he survive to adulthood” characters. The lead-in is funny but the humor isn’t sustained, though the other MC seems to find constant disaster with ER visits appealing. Perhaps broken glass and gashed hands are sexy to other readers. 1.5

Boys, Toys, and Carpet Fitters by Taylin Clavelli After wading through pages of backstory on the MC, his parents, his dog, his friends… I bailed. Trying to be fair, I came back to the story after a few days. However, more than 3000 words of meandering on topics as irrelevant as the MC’s mother’s musical tastes in the 80s and stupid dating tricks played by his friends were not any more appealing on second try, and damaged by overexplaining. When the actual story began, the premise was kind of cute but burdened with multiple multiple disasters, more meandering, and a reader with no patience left. The extraneous material may have been intended to establish character, but the same establishment could have been handled in about an eighth of the word count and in far more interesting fashion. A severe pruning and a major rewrite would rescue the premise, but as it stands, no. 1

 

Outbursts by Bell Ellis  The disasters are pretty much institutionalized here, with Mattastrophes and Mattaclysms happening every few paragraphs, unfortunately without enough panache to make it entertaining, mostly a function of the style. They do grope to a satisfactory conclusion. 2.5

Tyler Wang Has a Ball by Kim Fielding  A visit to the “Testicle Festival” plays fast and loose with the MC’s vegetarianism, but the things a guy will do to please a cute cowboy. Another trip to the ER as foreplay story with some errors of fact. 3

Boy Next Door by Ellee Hill Another three disasters past the funny story, but with some cute dialog. 3

Gremlins in the Works by Kiernan Kelly For as many disasters as this one had, there was also a unifying element, and very little goes completely awry in Kiernan Kelly’s hands. Not so for the MCs, who are convinced their house is out to get them. Her beleaguered homeowners solve their mystery and made me smile, for the solution and the humorous language of the entire tale. 4

Good Food Gone Bad by Venona Keyes Highly inconsistent story with completely over the top disasters brought crashing to earth with the not funny. Had it remained over the top, that would have been one thing, or more realistic, that would have been another, but it was burdened with both attitudes. This led to a character who bleaches the floor repeatedly while reciting the germs that might rise up to slay him but still sticks his fingers in his partner’s ass (source of floor germs) while cooking. Blech. 2

Attack of the Hedgehogs by Kate Pavelle  A little wandering at first, this story establishes a bit of D/s of the more mental kind, and is mostly sex. The story ends on a hilarious twist, ending rather far from where it started, and it got me to laugh out loud. 3.5

It's Not What You Think by Teegan Loy A little too much to drink at a party, and Micah’s having plenty of trouble deciding when to evade and when to clutch. What’s going on is quite clear to the reader early on, but it’s still cute, and here it’s how the story plays out more than what it is. Slapping a secondary character two or three times seemed like a good idea. 3.75

Slippery When Wet by K. Lynn  Given the nature of the injuries and the completely unrealistic response to them, I was left shaking my head. The way out of the rut may have led to the ER, but not like this. I couldn’t believe in the characters or the ending. 2

Desperate Measures by E.T. Malinowski  A situation that barely made sense beyond “impress the important client” has lovers Parker and Greg scrambling to make a lavish dinner and working at cross purposes. I didn’t buy in to either characters or situation, but the element of working to a common goal was refreshing. 3

Gordon's Cat by Aundrea Singer One of the most charming and romantic of the stories, this focuses on the budding relationship between Gordon and Mitch, who have the usual new couple bobbles, complicated by a spiteful feline. Each man’s solution to the cat problem is different, but they’re trying hard to make it work and give everyone what they need. Big Aw ending. 4

Photo Finish by AC Valentine My favorite of the collection, this story features Skylar, who plans his spontaneity in hopes of pleasing his unpleasable boyfriend. You know this can’t end well, at least in one direction, but serves for exposing the barrenness in one relationship and the richness in another. Nothing is forced or contrived here, it’s a one problem story, and it works. 4.25

******

 In the best of all possible readings, one would read a story or two at a time, which would lighten the effect of unrelenting disasters. Fifteen tales of things gone wrong is far too much at a gulp, particularly when some of the treatments are so heavy handed. I would revisit a few of these stories, but I’m not in love with the collection as a whole. Grading this anthology as an average of the individual scores is much kinder than the overall impression made, and results in 2.75 marbles.

Thousand Word Thursday Story from Clare London

OF NARCISSUS by Clare London
©2012

You may call my time at the river like this an indulgence. I call it an escape. I sit silently on the grassy bank, staring into the water, my skin as cool or warm as the weather allows me, but uncaring of any discomfort. It’s my time to be thoughtful.

My brothers scoff. “What’s wrong with you, Cecco? We don’t skulk around in our precious hours off, when there’s wine and women to be found in town. You waste time like a child. Like a girl.” For them, it’s the ultimate insult.


Papa laughs at me–I always hoped I was a favourite of his, being a late and unexpected addition to the family–yet there’s a harsh edge to it. “There’s no time for idleness, Cecco. There’s work to be done to help Mama.”

“Tired of being a housewife?” my brothers sneer. “We have your place ready at the forge any time you want!”

They see I haven’t grown into a lusty country man like them: that I don’t drink, that I’m nervous of women and show no appetite for them. But they think I’m slow, and it’s just a matter of time before I become like them. In the meantime, they tease my shyness mercilessly.

But the young man Papa hires to help clear the forge on busy weekdays sees me in a different way. His dark, sweaty curls fall over his forehead as he looks up at me through thick lashes. His gaze often follows me as I carry things about the yard for Papa. Sometimes his flush is not just from the heat of the fire.

Seated here today on the river bank, I think of him: his smooth-skinned jaw, striped with soot; his callused hands; his nervous, pretty smile. There’s a sudden splash as a fish breaks the surface, and I hear the plop as it dives again. I put aside my bread and cheese and scramble to my knees. If I perch at the edge of the bank and lean forward, I can see into the river. I see fish weaving between the fronds of sea ferns, and the rough and tumble of the depths ebbing around the uneven stones of the river bed.

And then I see the boy. I’m not startled–I’ve seen him before. He stares back up at me from under the surface, a smile on his face. He looks my age, with the same big eyes and unruly hair. But he never has the sad expression that Mama says she sees on my face. He looks cheerful and confident and … mischievous.

I’ve never heard his voice aloud, but I always know what he’s saying. “Has he spoken to you yet? Cecco, tell me at once!”

I smile back, ruefully. “No,” I whisper. “I think he’s afraid of Papa’s anger. He works hard in the forge, he has no time to stop and talk.”

“He wants to, though. I know!” The boy chuckles. “He likes you. You need time together.” A gust of wind blows suddenly over the river and the surface ripples. His face blurs briefly. It’s a beautiful face, though my brothers would snort to hear me describe a male that way.

“I cannot talk to him for you,” my friend says, suddenly sober. “You’d welcome that, wouldn’t you?”

I can’t help blushing. It’s as if he reads my mind. “I don’t have your courage.” The tree branches creak in the wind: the leaves rustle behind me. “I’m not handsome like you. I don’t have your words. I am afraid …”

“Of being yourself?” he whispers back.

I nod. Tears settle as a lump in my throat. My belly aches all the way to my groin. I know what I want–but I never dare seek it out.

“You deserve happiness, Cecco. You’re beautiful, just like me, though you never believe me.” His expression is sympathetic now, his eyes full of love that seems to be for me. “It’s not easy, and you must be careful of yourself. But you cannot deny your needs forever. Your dream of being an artist, your sensitive love of beauty, your need for a man to make you sob with pleasure and cry out in the night…”

“Hush!” My whole body feels hot now. “Someone’s coming!”

The water ripples again and I draw back. Behind me, someone pushes through the bushes, their boots crunching through the fallen leaves. It’s a heavy but hesitant step. I wonder if Papa has sent someone to fetch me back.

“Cecco?”

To my astonishment, it’s the boy from the forge. I just stare at him. I imagine I can hear the boy in the water laughing fondly at me. I almost feel him nudge me to speak. Go on!

“I like to come here,” I say. “It’s a quiet place.”

My voice sounds too high, but he smiles at me and nods. “A quiet place is good. The forge is hot and busy. And here … perhaps I can speak with you. Alone.”

We’re both blushing by now.

He likes you, Cecco!

Perhaps the courage and mischief of my friend in the river is contagious. I pat the grass beside me. “Will you sit for a while? I’d like to talk to you, too.”

He laughs, a burst of relief from his mouth, the tone high and excited and almost musical. That’s how I know this boy has dreams, too, that extend beyond a few hours’ manual labour in a forge. He drops to the ground beside me, wriggling to get comfortable, and it brings him closer. His thigh brushes mine. His body is warm with sweat and eagerness, but the cool wind blows the fragrance of the riverbank through his curls. I want to touch him. I know I will touch him.

We sit there for a moment, then laugh with ease. I slide a hand over his and he grasps mine in return.

I know the words will come, when I need them.
**********************************
Thank you, Clare! Here's some news about her latest release, complete with a little excerpt.

COMPULSION by Clare London

Available at Dreamspinner Press (in print and ebook), Amazon Kindle and other online bookstores.

BLURB: The past always catches up with you. Max Newman should know—he’s been running from his ever since he dropped out of Uni and made a disastrous move to the seedier side of London. Now he’s returned to Brighton to lick his wounds. Though Max believes the club scene is better left behind him, one night he lets his friends drag him out dancing. And suddenly the simple life he’s tried to lead gets complicated.

At Compulsion, the Medina Group’s newest hotspot, Max meets Seve Nunez, a member of the Medina management and a man used to taking what he wants. The sexual chemistry between Max and Seve immediately leads to an intimate encounter in the backyard of the club—just the kind of dangerous behavior Max tried to leave behind. Despite that, he can't help but crave more, and Seve seems just as eager.

But Max soon suspects that Seve may not be the scrupulous businessman he claims. Max has seen the Medina Group at work before, and what he saw got a good friend killed. He's not sure what future he has with Seve, but he'll have to decide whether to trust in Seve’s innocence or keep running. The wrong choice could land them both in mortal danger.

~~~~~~

EXCERPT:

I ordered a beer for myself. Tonight it tasted as sharp as if I’d been waiting for weeks, not days, for a drink. I savored the cold, blissful shock of it in my throat, the dribble of condensation on my hand from the bottle. Glancing back over to the table, I saw Jack and Louis had been joined by another couple of friends. They were all laughing, distracted. I finished the first beer quickly and ordered another. I meant to take my time drinking this one, but the cool liquid was both stimulating and seductive. I was still shaken from my talk with Jack, so I found a spot at the bar where I could lean on the counter, resting my back against a pillar. It meant I wasn’t jostled too often by other customers and I could look back over the seating area. The hope was that I’d calm down and recover my equilibrium, but the cruel, sorry memories of London wouldn’t leave me alone. I lifted the bottle to my mouth and back down a few more times and felt my mind retreat into itself, away from the hubbub and flashing lights. When I nodded to the barman for a third beer, I felt a residual sway in my body. Shit, I was out of practice.

This time I was handed a paper napkin with the bottle. I glanced at it, intending to discard it back on the bar. It was a promotional sheet with “Compulsion” written across one corner in bold but elegant script. Below that was printed “a Medina Group venue” and the website details of the new owners.

My stomach clenched. The words blurred slightly as my head spun with both anger and shock. It was a coincidence, wasn’t it? I peered at it again as if I’d discover I’d misread it.

Wishful bloody thinking. I crumpled the napkin with more force than was necessary and dropped it back on the counter.

 
********************************

Clare took the pen name London from the city where she lives, loves, and writes. A lone, brave female in a frenetic, testosterone-fuelled family home, she juggles her writing with the weekly wash, waiting for the far distant day when she can afford to give up her day job as an accountant. She’s written in many genres and across many settings, with novels and short stories published both online and in print. She says she likes variety in her writing while friends say she’s just fickle, but as long as both theories spawn good fiction, she’s happy.  Most of her work features male/male romance and drama with a healthy serving of physical passion, as she enjoys both reading and writing about strong, sympathetic and sexy characters.

Clare currently has several novels sulking at that tricky chapter 3 stage and plenty of other projects in mind . . . she just has to find out where she left them in that frenetic, testosterone-fuelled family home.

Find details of her publications and plenty of free fiction at her website, including an invitation to her mailing list. Visit her today and say hello!

Website : http://www.clarelondon.co.uk

Blog : http://clarelondon.livejournal.com/

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