Junction X by Erastes

Title: Junction X Author: Erastes
Cover Artist: Alex Beecroft
Publisher: Cheyenne Publishing
Genre: historical
Length: 200 pages
Rating: 5 stars out of 5
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Set in the very English suburbia of 1962 where everyone has tidy front gardens and lace curtains, Junction X is the story of Edward Johnson, who ostensibly has the perfect life: A beautiful house, a great job, an attractive wife and two well-mannered children. The trouble is he’s been lying to himself all of his life. And first love, when it does come, hits him and hits him hard. Who is the object of his passion? The teenaged son of the new neighbours.

Edward’s world is about to go to hell.
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Readers who require happy endings, you are excused now. The rest of you, come over here, let me tell you about something really extraordinary.

Conformity, thy name is Edward Johnson, stockbroker, family man. Aside from a friendship with benefits with his neighbor, he's the picture of standardized suburban success. And why shouldn't he indulge? It's not like either Phil or Ed's wife will give them blowjobs, and it's really the best way to cap off a round of golf. His life is stable with this unconventional arrangement until Phil and his wife move away.

The new neighbors don't fit the neighborhood: he's an engineer (how shocking! He works with his hands!) and she's a nurse (extra shocking! She works!). They've come to a neighborhood nearly beyond their means in order to get their beloved, brilliant son into the best school, hoping to prepare him for the best universities.

Alex is a youth born too soon for the love he's about to encounter. This is 1962, he's still under-aged, and he's gay in an exuberant way that it hurts him to hide. He's on the cusp of adulthood, knows what he wants, and what he wants is Ed. It's fitting that they begin to bond over his huge set-up of model trains: too serious to be toys, too playful to be work, but an acceptable reason for a thirty-three year old man to spend time with a seventeen year old boy.

This is told as Ed's memoir, which gives a definite air of doom from the very beginning. From his intermittently frosty relationship with his former tennis-pro wife, his indulgent irritation with his young twin children, to his strangely lopsided relationship with Phil, Ed is bored and primed for a grand passion, but given the times, his lover, and his self-delusion, there isn't a bit of hope that this will end in any way but tears.

And I cried, oh I cried. I gritted my teeth, I wanted to shake Ed and smack Phil: I wanted to lead Alex by the hand away from this life, this man, into another decade where he could be happy all his life. This might be a throwback to an older form, where gay lovers had to be punished, but the prose is so beautiful, the tragedy so poignant and inevitable, and unfolds so perfectly that the step back works. Ed is not an entirely reliable narrator: his capacity for deluding himself is high, though he comes to recognize that he is depraved, but it's a corruption of integrity, not sexuality. Everyone around him, from his family to his friends, suffers from his flexible honesty; Alex suffers most of all.

Ed lays himself bare, given the restrictions of his ability to speak honestly; Alex is seen through his eyes with either a beatific glow or an unwarranted dismissal. The secondary characters suffer from Ed's narration but have a vivid presence: Valerie chafes at her life, worrying at Ed, Phil, who can do friendly blowjobs and winks at an affair as long as he thinks it's a woman, and the Charleses, Alex' parents, horrified at the last by their golden child.

This story has a lot of elements that I'd say, as a knee jerk reaction, that I hate. Lying, cheating, an underaged MC. And yet I loved the story. I do sad endings if they're fitting. This is fitting.

This is one gorgeously written story; it's painful but intense. I'm glad I read it, though I don't know that I'll revisit it; it hurts too much. But one time through hurts so good. 5 marbles

Muffled Drum by Erastes

Muffled Drum by Erastes
Publisher: Carina Press
Genre: Historical, GLBT
Length: 187 pages



Summary: Bohemia, 1866
They met in a port-side tavern, their lust-filled moments stolen from days of marching and madness. After eighteen months, Captain Rudolph von Ratzlaff and First Lieutenant Mathias Hofmann have decided to run away from everything they hold dear. Resigning their commissions is social suicide, but there's no other choice. Someone will eventually see Rudolph's partiality toward Mathias.

Now their plans have gone horribly awry... When Mathias goes to Rudolph's tent after their last battle, his lover looks at him without a hint of recognition. Mathias can hardly believe the man he knew is gone. He wants to fill in so many of Rudolph's missing memories, but the doctor says a shock could result in permanent damage. The pain of seeing Rudolph on a daily basis, when Rudolph doesn't remember their love, is excruciating. Now Mathias must decide whether he wants to fight for the man he loves or forget him completely...

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Erastes throws the readers deep into the nineteenth century, immersing us in both battles and society. She has us living, smelling, and lurching through this time, and suffering right along with Mathias and Rudolph. On the eve of abandoning their previous lives and much else in order to be together, a battle injury steals Rudolph's memories and Mathias' hope. Muffled Drum plays with every emotion possible in rebuilding their lives.



Everyone has their own opinion of what is best for Rudolph—where he should go, what he should be told, what he should be allowed to see, in the expectation that being kept in the dark will improve his memory. Mathias doesn't know enough of Rudolph's life outside the army to keep him from making terrible gaffes, and when finally someone came along (bless you, Fritz) who will fill in some blanks in spite of prevailing wisdom, I wanted to shout with relief. Nineteenth century medicine – it's a wonder anyone survived contact with it, and Rudolph only slowly finds what he needs. I bled for him on nearly every page.

Mathias, however, needs a good hard shake. Young and thoughtless, he ignores important information and fails to think things through. His deep love and genuine concern aren't enough to make up for not thinking about what Rudolph might consider to be "current events," which predate their relationship. Still, he does what he perceives as best for Rudolph, acting without consulting, because he's been advised that way by experts and because of the demands of his own considerable sense of honor.

The well-drawn world and the very engaging characters should have kept me totally engrossed and very nearly did, but an issue of names kept intruding. Having to sort out references between a horse and a location was a minor irritant, but being repeatedly tossed into a camp movie by another horse's name kept me from settling as fully into the story as it deserved. Still, the golden moment where loss turns to hope brought tears to my eyes. 4 marbles