This is from something I'm reading, what exactly isn't important. But it does explain why understanding punctuation and doing the proofreading matter.
And he had been good, no more than that, a talent to be reckoned with.
Really? He'd been no more than good, but still so fabulous? This doesn't make sense, one part contradicts the other. Or maybe he's getting by on other attributes than his skill.
This is what I think the author meant:
And he had been good, no, more than that, a talent to be reckoned with.
Now he's all sorts of top flight! And my perception of the character is really different.
Next time someone thinks editing and proofreading shouldn't be counted for a rating, remember that one little comma can completely change the direction the story's going.
It drives me nuts when people say that editing and proofing shouldn't be counted for ratings. Here are a couple of sentences from published m/m romances that I've read... and they definitely affected the book's rating... not in a positive way:
ReplyDelete"His cock, which had gone down, hardened immediately, and rushed over to his side of the car."
"That strange twinkled shinned in Dante's eyes again."
EEEK! We should save these things for a hall of shame kind of thing. Or a vote. Or something. That's terrible! Rushing cocks are scary!
DeleteFlee! Flee! Flee for you life! ;)
ReplyDeleteRushing cocks go faster than weeping cocks! (Puts on track shoes: I don't have to out run it, I have to outrun you guys!)
DeleteLOL! I think all those writers need to read Eats, Shoots and Leaves, like, immediately. :D
ReplyDelete(And that one guy needs to get to a surgeon ASAP to get his cock re-attached. O_O
Angie
If he can catch it!
DeleteGood example, Crys. I would've gone even further and broken up the sentence, since fragments are generally acceptable.
ReplyDeleteI remember that rushing cock; it cracked me up when Chris first posted the sentence!
Fortunately I don't run across that many WTF sentences, certainly nothing as funny as rushing cocks.
DeleteI'm a little burned out on fragments right now; just read an otherwise good one where the fragments got downright intrusive.
I just found something almost as good:
ReplyDelete"Reaching into his shirt pocket, he replaced his cock with a butt plug."
O.O
Delete